Why Does my boyfriend not want to have sex with me anymore?

By Anonymous September 27, 2011 - 1:49pm

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Okay so me any my boyfriend have been dating for a year now. About two months ago i caught him cheating online and sending multiple other girls very inappropriate messages.. i broke down and i left him for about 5 days but eventually had no choice but to come back and work things out.
i've been back with him ever since and the first day i was back we had sex something like 5 times in one day.. but ever since then in the past two months we've probably had sex about twice maybe three times. before the whole incident with the cheating happened we used to have sex at least once a day and when we first started dating for about the first 5 or 6 months we had sex up to 15 times a day!..

But im confused as to why ever since i came back to him hes lost his sexual drive. it seems like i should be the one punishing him with that not the other way around. I've talked to him about it multiple times and it seems like i always here a different reason.. at first it was because he was so ashamed of what he did and disgusted by himself that he didn't feel like having sex anyone.. cause it took the specialness of making love away since we werent on good terms. Then it was because of all the stress hes under lately with work and money and everything he deals with. Then it was the religious problems of not having sex before marriage and feeling guilty.. even though we've had sex together at least 600 times probably. Then it was cause he couldnt have sex cause of the pain he's having lately with hemorrhoids. Ive threatened to leave him lately.. not because of the sex but because of the trust issues and communication and just so many problems were having lately. and with all the problems were having it would be nice to at least have intimacy but he just wanted to add that to the list of things wrong i guess.. and he still claims he couldnt see his life without me and would be miserable without me.. so i know its not cause he doesnt love me anymore..
I would just like some advice on what more i can do to help or if anyone thinks there's a true underlying problem here
thank you:)

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Maryann Gromisch RN Guide

Hi,
Why did you have no choice but to come back to a man who cheated on you? On what foundation is this relationship built on? Love, trust, respect or just sex? I don't think your boyfriend has suddenly lost his sex drive. My advice, which is based on what you have shared, is that both of you need to step away from each other and work on becoming more mature. A long lasting relationship is built on love, fidelity, respect and sharing common interests and goals.

Maryann

September 27, 2011 - 4:08pm