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Why doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me?

By June 22, 2010 - 3:26pm
 
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Hi, I am 24 years old and I have been with my boyfriend who is 31 for almost 2 years. We used to have sex about 1-2 times a week and then once every 2 weeks and then once a month. It's now been 2 months since we have been intimate. He won't let me touch him, he pushes me away and he doesn't even want to kiss me. I have sat down and talked with him to try and figure out what was going on and at the time he had quit his job and was a little stressed. Well now that has been almost a year ago and he still doesn't want sex. I am successful and attractive and so is he. Although I did gain a liitle bit of weight but he says it has nothing to do with it, that he is just not in the mood. I have asked if he has cheated on me and he said no. I just don't understand. I even try and seduce him but he still pushes me away. I have opened the door and asked if he wanted to try new things, and still nothing. I mean if he is not having sex with me then he must be getting it from somewhere else? Or maybe he just doesn't have a high sex drive. He doesn't pay alot of attention to me either and that's frustrating because I am getting a bit fed up and we tend to argue over that and the fact that he won't let me touch him. I love this guy alot. I want to be with him forever but if this is how it is now what will it be like in 10 years? I need love and affection like I give to him. He says that he still loves me and he wants be marry me. But why would he want to be with someone who he is not even intimate with? We both deserve it. I have tried everything and talked to him about this but he still doesn't seem to care about what I want and need from the relationship. Please help! I don't know what to do anymore.

Randi

Add a Comment18 Comments

EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm 34 and my boyfriend is 37. We haven't had sex in a month and it is really getting to me. I know that he is on online dating sites and even goes and meets the women sometimes in public places. I think he has only cheated on me once. I'm not for certain tho. He never wants to talk about it. He always says it's him not me and that I'm being selfish if that's all I think about. We don't kiss anymore. He has always slept with all his clothes on. I figured it was a habit. I am really starting to think he's not attracted to me. My weight hasn't changed or anything like that. We have been struggling with money but we have always done that too. I'm at a lost for words. Please help.

October 26, 2017 - 5:49am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Oh my, sweetie. You deserve so much better, dont stand for anything less, this man is meeting otjer women? He's having sexual relations with them.
Please do you're self a favour, leave him.

November 3, 2017 - 8:10am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

My boyfriend won't let me touch him. Or look at him naked. We don't have sex anymore at all. I feel so unwanted and everytime i try and talk to him or ask him why he doesn't want me anymore, he gets angry:'( I just feel completely worthless and no matter what i do it doesn't make a difference.

April 21, 2017 - 2:06am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi, I am 17years old and I have been with my boyfriend who is 25 for almost 2 years. We used to have sex about 1-2 times a week and then once every 2 weeks and then once a month. It's now been 2 months since we have been intimate. He won't let me touch him, he pushes me away and he doesn't even want to kiss me. I have sat down and talked with him to try and figure out what was going on and he moans hes in pain with everything but still goes to work what causing thr pain and was a little stressed. Well now that seemed more everyday thing now and he still doesn't want sex. I am successful and attractive and so is he. Although I did gain a liitle bit of weight but he says it has nothing to do with it, that he is just not in the mood. I have asked if he has cheated on me and he said no. I just don't understand. I even try and seduce him but he still pushes me away. I have opened the door and asked if he wanted to try new things, and still nothing. I mean if he is not having sex with me then he must be getting it from somewhere else? Or maybe he just doesn't have a high sex drive. He doesn't pay alot of attention to me either and that's frustrating because I am getting a bit fed up and we tend to argue over that and the fact that he won't let me touch him. I love this guy alot. I want to be with him forever but if this is how it is now what will it be like in 10 years? I need love and affection like I give to him. He says that he still loves me and he wants be marry me. But why would he want to be with someone who he is not even intimate with? We both deserve it. I have tried everything and talked to him about this but he still doesn't seem to care about what I want and need from the relationship. Please help! I don't know what to do anymore.

November 17, 2015 - 5:08am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

im trying to figure out why my boyfriend stopped being wanting anything sexual with me were both 18 we've been together or almost 2.5 years we used to be like rabbits but ever since we moved n together its been a lot harder to get him interested in anything were going on two weeks now without anything now and I just don't know what to do

October 18, 2015 - 6:38pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 48 my partners 51 we 've been together three years he's shown no sexual interest in me for two and a half years he suffered with ED when I met him but we had foreplay which was great it took months to persuade him to go to the doctors where he was prescribed coal is everything was great but wen the first prescription was used up there were constant excuses not to get any more. He is quite happy for me to touch him intimately but won't touch or kids me at all. He's wonderful to me in every other way I 've tried to talk to him about it on numerous occasions but he doesn't take any notice and he can't give me a straight answer why he won't touch or kids me he just says that he doesn't know. I feel so depressed no intimacy at all yet he l hug me . But don't know what to do

August 17, 2015 - 11:47am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 26 and have been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years. He is almost 32 for about 3 years of our relationship we have had a poor sex life. I feel like we've tired everything. He went to the doctor and tested negative for any low t problems. I've gained weight and this issue came up about 2 years into our relationship, he wasn't happy but I thought we moved on. I found out, after 4 years of us dating, he had cheated on me within our 1st 1.5/2 years of dating that he cheated - with my. boss and mentor - this caused issues but before and after that we still had problems in our sex life. We have had countless talks and he says he's sorry he's just not into sex like me. I mean we have talks about twice a month for 3 years. Nothing changes. He brings up old situations like the number of sexual partners I've had and the fact that he isn't into sex as me. We only have sex about twice a month- going on 3 years though. I want to be with him but I am a sexual person, I dk what to do. I've told him it needs to Change or I am gone but I really don't want to leave. Help!

May 12, 2015 - 8:48pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Its really strange. My bf and i have been together for 10 months now. I wrote on this thread mentioning after 6 months our sex life died down to once every week then once every 2 weeks. We went on a holiday together for 2 weeks about 1.5 half months ago and he had sex with me every day for the first week and a half. Then after the holiday he did it once. I haven't has sex with him for 1 month now.
I am dying as i am sexual person too. He is 35yrs old i am 30. What to do. He is a great partner but its the sex we are lacking.
We just moved in together 3 weeks ago. He is always telling me how ik beautiful and he loves me. I just don't get it. Do you think he has just lost his sex drive? In the beginning he always wanted it.

September 11, 2015 - 9:20pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

my bf an I never had sex after having a baby we have about 6 years dating for the first years we had sex lyk crazy but now it seems lyk hes not even interested in me we jst have sex our sex lyf is kinda lyk boring I think he jst doing him slf a hand joy plZ hlp how do I make my bf interested in me again

December 22, 2016 - 5:07pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am feeling the same way I am 23 and my boyfriend is 34 we will be 3 months on our relationship this coming may 17 the first night we had sex he was aggressive until 5 days after that he stop showing affection to me I wanted to have sex with him and he says hes not in the mood for it in that moment till 2 weeks pass we still did not have sex ask him "why we dont have sex" all he says is "dont worry about it" without anymore explanation until 1 month pass we still did not have sex I am starting feeling that he maybe cheating on me already I ask him about that and he says sex is not important and telling me that he loves me and not to worry about it and he would never cheat on me. But every morning I know he is masterbating in the shower I felt like he dont like me ..but he is sweet to me I just need to be satisfied and want to be wanted by him.

May 3, 2015 - 4:35pm
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