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will he change?

By October 11, 2015 - 11:36am
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My fiance and I have been together for a year and im currently on holidays with my family snd im going back to where i live in 1 week. My fiance and i we're arguing over something on text and he was accusing me on something and kept calling me a liar for no reason, he has lost his virginity to his ex and so have i, next thing you know he said to me 'you even lost your virginity to an alcoholic ex goodnight' he just chucked at my face that I'm not a virgin and I don't want this to be in his mouth for the rest of our future. I just blocked him off my calls and messages. Before our argument we have already booked a hotel for next day I get back to be together and spend some time because we've missed each other and we were talking about how excited we were to feel each other again. After the argument and what he has said to me, I told him I'm not going to the hotel, and that if he is trying to make me feel like a filth, then he surely doesn't deserve to be with me that night. I don't know if I should unblock him and tell him off or have a silent treatment. I'm going back there in 1 week, he was supposed to also come to the airport to meet me and my family. Should I completely ignore him till the day I land or unblock him and speak to him and let him step over me?..

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EmpowHER Guest

Please help me:Anonymous
Where do I start.... he went to prison I was there mentally emotionally financially and traveled. He lied on several occasions about I was the only woman in his life romantically. Come to find out on 2 ocasions that was a lie. He got released I was there to pick him up with love clothing essentials hygiene essentials etc. I soon realized I still didn't trust him. When he was in prison pleaded n pleaded that I help him rebuild our foundation from this 15yr on n off again relationship. I dug deep n gave in now he's home my untrustworthy in him has unleashed I lash out everything sounds like a lie to me. He says things like he doesn't have 2 probation officers n not telling me his everymove. If i take pics of him with his shirtoff he asks me to forward them to him in my opinion to send to other women. At this point i don't care if he wants someone else i just want the truth so I can walk away. He discusses our disagreements with his heavily opionated family which whatever they say to him to do he does. It's been plenty of times when we were on a break he would bring multiple different women to his families house n they engage every single 1 of these females instead of saying that's not right. I just don't know what to do anymore. The last weekend we spent together he thought i was in the shower i walked bk in the bedroom to grab my house slippers n saw him by the laundry room on the other side of the house checking his phone. I asked him several times why is he doing that all of a sudden and he keeps replying he's not hiding anything ck the cell company for his phone records and what makes me think he was checking his phone. Im responded you was just standing there staring at it for no reason? I told him today I can't do this anymore. But I'm crying a river when I should be happy I guess....

October 20, 2015 - 6:44am
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

The truth doesn't matter but if you want it here it is: he's a liar, a cheat and a convicted felon. That's the truth.

Don't go near this man again. I think I helped you on another post a few minutes ago, please see my more detailed reply there.

October 20, 2015 - 4:24pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Susan Cody)

Good morning Susan thank you I looked for the more detailed reply and couldn't locate it. Where can I find it? Something inside me just doesn't feel right about him some say it's because I'm holding on to his lies he told while in prison and if we are going forward need to let go of those thoughts. But I haven't been able too

October 21, 2015 - 4:13am
HERWriter Guide

Hi princess95!

Thanks for your post!

In this day and age, one non-virgin throwing comments like that to another non-virgin would be funny if it wasn't so silly. This isn't the 1950s, we all have a past and unless it could have a physical or financial impact on a partner, it's nobody else's business. You have a past, so does he, so what? He sounds like a teenager.

When you say he is your fiance, do you mean you actually have a date for marriage and a place to live and an engagement ring etc? If not, you are not engaged. The reason I ask is because blocking numbers and messages seems very juvenile, certainly not something two people entering marriage would ever entertain. Two adults are going to sit down and talk out issues, not play phone games.

You both need to do this and work it out. And reconsider this engagement until you're both comfortable in your own skin and adult enough to enter into something as serious as marriage.


October 11, 2015 - 12:40pm
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