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The woman I am sleeping just told me that she has High Risk HVP

By August 4, 2014 - 8:02pm
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We are 2 busy professionals just got into a FWB sort of relationship. Never had intercourse without protection, nor did I perform any oral sex on her. We have probably had sex maybe 5 or 6 times. Recently she confessed that she has High Risk HPV; its been monitored and every thing is OK. Not to worry.Btw we both are in our 30's.
What do I do? I dont want to hurt her, by leaving although we are just friends and be parting ways next year. Nor do I want to stick around and get the same strain, where I might become the carrier and have a chance to spread it to other people I date and have a intimate relationship with.

I have read and read all articles I can find, I still dont have the answers I am looking for or know the right questions to ask.
So here I am... Please advise me.
What are my chances of staying with her and not becoming a carrier of that strain.
Should I go see a doctor? to schedule a test? To see if I might have already contacted it?

Please advice

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HERWriter Guide

Hi doomack

Thanks for your question! 

It's a pity your friend didn't tell you before you had sex so that you could make this choice beforehand. 

I can't tell you your chances of getting HPV from her but since it happens from skin to skin contact rather than body fluids, the chances are there. Keep using condoms though, they do help. 

Unfortunately there is no test as yet for male HPV so you will not know if you have it or not. If you are under the age of 26, consider the HPV vaccine. It's made for women but men are also encouraged to take it - ask your doctor about your options. 

Since this is a friends-with-benefits thing, it might be better to stop having sex although you may already be infected from her (although you may be infected for years and not know it, most men who are sexually active will be exposed to the virus at some point in their lives). Men often have no symptoms but are carriers and can infect others just the same. 

This is a personal decision you have to make. It sounds like you are both good friends and since there are no strings attached, becoming platonic should not be a problem. That's the whole point of sex with friends! I'm sure she will understand. But if you want to keep having sex, make sure you wear a condom at all times, but know you still have a risk of infection. 

Has this helped?


August 6, 2014 - 4:36am
(reply to Susan Cody)


Thank you soo much.
Yeah I know.... But for some reason I am not really upset at her,
I came to the same conclusion and ended the sex part and was surprised that she couldn't understand why I had to do it. Anyway, I am waiting to consult a physician.

Thank you for your advice.


August 6, 2014 - 5:50pm
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Human papillomavirus (HPV)

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