Challenge this! Sex for 7 (or 101!) straight days to strengthen your marriage
A Dallas pastor has challenged (if that is the right word) his married congregants to have sex for seven straight days in order to strengthen their relationships. I use the word 'challenge' here rather arbitrarily, as it may have negative connotations, although none are implied. You can choose 'encourage', 'dare' or "promote" if you prefer!
The Rev. Ed Young is the pastor of a "mega church" in Texas (mega churches are so called due to their enormous size, memberships in the tens to hundreds of thousands and their powerful international reach) and wants husbands and wives to reconnect on a very intimate, personal level, in order to show their commitment to their marriages.
On another, grander level, a couple married for 11 years have been doing the talk-show rounds recently, promoting the husband's book "Just Do It", that advises couples to have sex for 101 days straight in order to enhance their marriage/relationship. Doug and Annie Brown said they made it to the 101 days and were exhausted - but felt more intimate and connected with each other.
However, so exhausted were they, that they took a month off from sex afterward! But they have no regrets and feel they have a better, stronger and more fun relationship as a result.
Doug Brown wrote the book after hearing friends talk about what they referred to as the "100 day club" meaning they hadn't had sex with their partners (for a variety of reasons) for 100 days or more. The book is not graphic or even R-rated, rather a fun, anecdotal account of the lives of two busy marrieds with children, with their 101 days of sex thrown in for good measure.
For more information on this book, and to read an excerpt, click here :
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25073531/
Tell us-
Do you think challenges like this are a good idea? Do they make sex a duty and a chore or do they encourage men and women to stop making excuses as to why they are not more intimate and allow them the chance to reconnect?
Would you take on one of these challenges?
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I actually was in a seven year relationship and went to counseling to try and figure out our differences. Well, our differences were too different. Plain and simple.
At the time we went to counseling though, they did tell us to try this method and I have to admit, it did lead to more intimacy in the relationship. It didn't last long but it did help short term. The worst problem I had was day one. The first day when sex was the last thing on my mind when I felt like I couldn't stand him. Once you pass the first time though, it became less than a chore and more romantic.
It is amazing how interesting it came be also. The men have to be more interested in cuddling though afterwards also, I think that was the best method. More intimacy for me and more sex for him. It's a good measure.
I saw the Rev. Ed Young on one of the morning "news" shows, and the funny thing is: he and his wife also tried the 7-day challenge...and they didn't make it! He said that he received so much publicity for this particular sermon, that by day 5 he was too exhausted to have sex.
I don't think this is a one-size-fits-all method, so it may work for some couples, but it could also become more frustrating for others. I assume the couples it could work for are those who simply have changed their priorities from each other to chores, TV-watching, computer-using, book-reading or child-rearing duties in the evening. I can see where a mandate of sex for them would help reconnect, and hopefully help them re- prioritize what is important.
However, those couples who have communication issues, or are struggling with infidelity, or an entire list of other marital problems, may not be suited for 7-days of sex until they can work on some communication issues. Can you image having sex with a person who does not communicate well, or does not respect your wishes? How are they going to be respectful and communicative in bed; I think sex could just magnify some of these problems.
I'm also curious about the long-term effects. (I wonder if this is something that could be studied and researched?). The couples who claimed "more intimacy" between them: does this intimacy last after they no longer are having the mandated sex? Was it the sex that brought on the intimacy, or having a goal together or merely having something in common again (a "teacher-type" figure in their lives; kind of the common enemy idea. Remember in school, when the teacher would give you an assignment, how you bonded with the other classmates over this "stupid assignment"?!). Are there different types of intimacy, and does this one create the illusion of intimacy or a superficial intimacy that disappears quickly? I'm just really curious about this, and I think if it works for couples...then what a great method!
wow thats a long time to have sex. My husband and I are doing the 30 day one and that seems like a struggle it self LOL
what is this centrism on sex?! why don't you just talk to each other and cuddle with each other? i'm 25 with an enormous sexual drive, appetite and capacity, but i find that if i do it more than once a week that it ceases to be special.
101 days of sex is a very long time. Considering that people get ill, feel tired, or are simply not in the mood-- that is one heck of a challenge.
7 days I can definitely do and have done. Not because we were challenged to do it, but I guess you could say we were having a good week?
I'd like to point out that sex will only lose its excitement or element of surprise if there is no change in scenery, positions, etc. Using toys, not always doing it in the bed, and role playing (I mean really get into character role playing) will always be exciting. Spice it up, if your partner won't suggest it, then you take the lead.