To give a bit of background info here; me andm y boyfriend have know eacher for about the past 8 years. We started dating in January so our relationship is still pretty new. I am 28 and he is 23 and live toghter. Our relationship is amazingly great in all aspects execpt out sex life. I know neither of us in cheating, me because well I am me and as far as he goes his phone never goes off unless its his mom calling, dosent get texts from anyone unusal, since neither of us really has any friends where we live (he is not from around here and my close friends moved away) so its not like he is going out though we still both do our "own thing" around each other. I will read and he will play video games for example.
All that said I can safely say he is NOT cheating on me. We have great communication and have talked about our sexual problem more then he has wanted. Its been about a month and a half now since we had sex. He tells me he really dont care about sex that it isnt imporatnt to him at all. I feel the same way to an extent, I have been with to many guys who only want sex and I love that our relationship is basxed on a lot morethen that but giving that its been a time since he has even shown any interest in me sexually I have been both frustrated in general about it and wondering how he can really say he loves me and is attracted to me if he dosent really have a sexual interest in me. To note, we never had sex a ton at the beginning about once every week to week and a half.
To be fair, yes he does show me affection, goes out of his way to do little things for me. Wether he loves me or not is never in question. It is if he is attracted to me that is. He assures me that he is but I cant understand then why he never wants to have sex with me. When this first became a problem I tried wearing sexy things, or initating sex in other ways and only got shot down. That being the case I stopped trying so much. I even am to the point where I dont know how to tell if he actually wants sex anymore. Last night for example he was kissing me passionatly for a bit and actually wanted sex. I however couldnt tell the difference since he will kiss me like that even when he dont want sex. So like usual I roll over frustrated and after a bit mention thins frustration to him only to get the response of "I tried to get your attenion about it earlier" his way of saying yea I wanted sex. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW is what screams thorugh my head. So after a night of me kicking my self for being oblivous we wake up and immeaditly start fighting about it.
I love our relationship as dose he and dont want this sex issue to be a problem we cant over come. He has even told me that we can go to sexual consuling or see if it is a testorne problem so he is wiling, tho not thrilled. While I am the one who suggested I also pointed out that I woudl rather those be last options and prefer to try to work it out ourselves. I have tried to express to him how his lack of intrest makes me feel. May nights I lie awake feeling rejected and unattractive, He has expressed other wise and that the one reason is that he just hasnt been interested in sex latley. Things are no more stressful for him now then they were when we first got together, actually a bit btter. Neither of us has gained weight and while I bring up my frustrations in subtlie ways it is not am all the time thing and I dont push sex or make him feel obligated. I have to note that it is not like I am looking for or interested in sex all the time. Yes we are young but between work, my daughter and everything I would thing wanting sex once every week and a half to two weeks isnt unreasonalbe. When we do argue about it we end up not talking much or at all for a couple hours and make it a point to not really go to bed mad at each other. This being the first good and heathly (or almost) relationship I have ever had I do not want sex to become a major issue between us. I dont know how else to express how I feel about th is to him or even how I should feel about myself or the sistuation in general. Part of me wonders if I am making a bigger deal out of it then it is or if I am responding adaquitly.
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