I have been with him for almost 3 years. At the beginning things were amazing. We did move kind of fast. I moved in with him after 5 months. The first issue that started is he had a male friend that is a womanizer! I came home late one night hanging out with my girlfriend out on the town and when I drove up I saw a weird car in my drive away. The next morning I asked him and he said he was out with his friend and his friend met two women and they were all drunk so my fiancé took them back to our house. From what my fiancé said he went to bed and the friend and two women were down stairs and one of them came up in our room and got naked my fiancé say he was in a relationship and I guess she still wanted him and he kicked her out of our room. I'm happy that he told me, but still hurt like hell. His friend hates me and has told me he does whatever he can to get my fiancé laid. I told my fiancé what he said but he doesn't believe me.
Other stuff has happened since then, I found old emails of him talking dirty to other girls when we first got together. I confronted him about it and it quit. Got engaged in 2014 and seemed like everything was good till one night he told me we weren't monogamist till we got engaged which completely hurt me. We ended up moving to New England because he has health issues and while we were moving he was texting and emailing two of his ex saying how much he misses them. I told him if he wants to be with me he has to tell them that he's done with them. So he wrote an email to all of them and I watched him write it and send it. But still anytime he picks up his phone to text i feel like he's talking to them.
I do truly love him and if things changed I would love to marry him but I don't know what to do.
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Hi,
This sounds like a difficult situation.
From what you have said I don't believe your man is ready for marriage. The main reasoning is texting his ex-partners telling them how much he misses them.
As it wasn't just one ex-partner it was multiple it seems he was just doing this for fun and not because deep down he loves them. Still under no circumstances should he be saying these sort of things, especially just for fun.
You need to build your trust back and only then should you consider marriage.
I hope that helps.
For help building your trust have a read of this article.
August 13, 2015 - 1:01amThis Comment
Hello sissygirl2,
August 10, 2015 - 12:32amI'm so sorry to hear about these challenges you're facing and I'd love to share some advice.
Doing the best thing for yourself in this situation is going to be very tough, because it may involve putting down some very hard ultimatums.
It seems that your man is not ready to be fully committed to one person. Sounds like he loves the thrill of dating and seeing many women at one time. If he still has that urge then he isn't ready to marry.
I'm sure you love him and that is the hardest part. You want him to be fully committed to you as you are to him. But doing the healthy thing for yourself may involve separating from him until he proves that he can commit to you in the way you need him to be.
I hope that you can choose what is truly healthy for yourself in this situation.
Faith
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