As little girls almost all of us had dreams of finding our Prince Charming and getting married. We day dreamed about what kind of ring he'd buy, how he would propose, and how many kids we'd have.
Now that we are all grown and have found our Prince Charming... what's next?
With Valentine's Day just around the corner, a lot of women are wondering how they get their Prince Charming to propose to them and wisp them away to live happily ever after.
I recently had the opportunity to interview Dr. Seth Meyers. Dr. Seth Meyers, Psy.D., is a leading licensed clinical psychologist specializing in relationship, anxiety, depression, and addiction issues. He is also the author of the widely acclaimed self-help book, Dr. Seth's Love Prescription: Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve (2010), and a regularly contributing blogger for Psychology Today.
During our interview Dr. Meyers and I discussed things such as how to determine whether you are ready for marriage and once you are engaged some advice on how to ensure your newly wed years are as happy as they should be.
Dr. Seth’s Top Three Engagement Musts:
1. Talk about it: Have important conversations about marriage before you get engaged so there are no surprises in your future. Talk about major life choices like where you would live when you’re married and how many children you want to have.
2. Ask her parents for permission: Even if you know her parents would approve of your engagement, it doesn’t mean they still aren’t expecting you to ask for their permission.
3. Tap her best friend for advice: Your girlfriend has probably gone into detail about her dream engagement ring and proposal many times with her best friend so it’s likely they have the greatest intel on what your soon to be fiancé is expecting.
Want to know more about what Dr. Meyers has to say about Marriage and Proposals... sit back and soak in the below interview.
Q: So Dr. Seth, how do you know you’re ready for marriage?
A: You know you’re ready for marriage when you spend a lot of time thinking about marriage, and you spend a lot of time talking about it with your partner. You feel certain that you’re solid in your life and that this is the right person for you. The two of you are really compatible in all the ways in all the ways that you need to be compatible for a long-term relationship.
Q: Everyone wants a romantic proposal. Please share some dos and don’ts.
A: There are a few things you want to make sure to do when it comes to your proposal. One, you want to have important conversations about the future. You want to conversations about where you want to live together and how many children you want to have. You also want to make sure to ask her parents for permission. Make sure to include them in the process. It’s very important that they feel included. You also want to tap her best friend for advice. Your girlfriend may have shared details with her best friend about how she envisions the proposal happening. So make sure to talk to her best friend, you might get some good information. These are my rules for engagement, and you can find them at Zales.com/EpicProposal. I’m actually serving as the engagement coach for their new contest that’s being sponsored by Zale’s and IBEROSTAR Hotels and Resorts. This contest is searching for the most Epic Proposal ever! So, this is a chance for you guys to really WOW your girl with an over-the-top, fascinating proposal.
Q: When you’ve been dating a man for over 5 years and he still hasn’t asked you to marry him, is it time to move on?
A: Five years is a long time to be in a relationship and not marry. So if you decide that you want to get married, you need to make sure that you’re having an open conversation with your partner. You need to say, “Listen, I want it to happen soon.” And if it doesn’t happen soon, then you need to seriously think about whether this is the right relationship for you.
Q: Do you think that it is beneficial for couples to go through premarital counseling?
A: Premarital counseling is absolutely the best insurance policy a couple can take in their relationship. Premarital counseling is going to force you to think about things, some of which are uncomfortable, or awkward, but those are precise things that you need to be discussing before it’s too late.
Q: Do you think that couples who have lived together have an easier time during the first year of marriage than those who haven’t?
A: Well, couples who’ve lived together before marriage know each other a bit better than couples who haven’t yet lived together. So it’s wise to live together so that you see each other through all of the different moods, throughout all the different days.
Q: Everyone talks about the first year of marriage as being the hardest. Why do you think that is and what advice can you offer newlyweds to make the transition easier?
A: The first few years of marriage really can be difficult because the wedding puts a lot of pressure on couples, and when people get married, they all of a sudden feel this pressure that they’re supposed to be the happiest couple in the world. Everybody’s trying to get along so well, trying to make this work, it’s all of a sudden like now you’re a grown-up and you have to act like it. So, the best piece of advice I can give you is to try to relax. The truth is: if you’ve gotten married it means your relationship has already worked for a while up to this point. Keep doing the same things and don’t take anything too seriously.
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