I've been seeing my boyfriend for almost a year now. We're both 20. Initially we were very close, telling each other everything. Our honeymoon stage lasted for about 5 months. My boyfriend is a christian but wasn't against sex before marriage so we began to sleep together after 2 months. Then around the 6th month mark people started telling him he was moving too fast and was spending too much time with me. That we needed to have our own friends and be 2 independent people. Which is a bit difficult since we go to the same university and study the same course and live 2 minutes away from each other. We have the same friends. So about the 6th month mark he started to pull back in the relationship which hurt me. I was crying all the time because it felt as though he was breaking up with me even though we were still together. Eventually things got better and were back to how they initially were. Then later after about 9 - 10 months he decided he wasn't ready to sleep with me anymore. He didn't know if it was right in the eyes of god and what others would think knowing he is a christian. Plus he is terrified of getting me pregnant even though we always used protection. So now at 11 months we're not sleeping together and he has pulled back on seeing me, calling me and talking to me. He says he still loves me. I've tried to be ok with this, with not as much contact and no physical intimacy but its excruciatingly painful. I'm compromising everything. I love him so much and honestly wanted to spend my life with him but now it hurts. I don't know what to do. I can't live without him but i'm in pain with him.
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It's important to understand, when the man stops fucking you then it's over, period. You may think you love him but something about you makes him worry he'll have a kid on the way, so he refrains. His excuse about not fucking you because of his religion is the same one all of them use but in the end he already screwed your little sweet brains out right? So he's NOT getting something in the relationship he was before. That means it's a downward cycle to nowheresville. Real relationships grow overtime not lesson.
January 25, 2011 - 4:45pmThis Comment
Hi blankpage,
Thank you for sharing this with us and welcome to EmpowHer! I am very sorry that it seems like your boyfriend has taken a few steps back from your relationship when you seem to be wanting to move forward.
It's important that you communicate your feelings with him, and if you already have, then it's time to determine if you both want the same things or if it's best for you each to move on because you may not be in the same page. Just some food for thought...
Here is another post with someone in a relationship whose boyfriend also stopped having sex with her...
https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/why-doesnt-my-boyfriend-want-have-sex-me-anymore?page=2
Good Luck!
January 25, 2011 - 6:41amThis Comment