Having read many forums I decided to share my story because I really do not know where else to go and I want other women to know that your husband not wanting sex is absolutely nothing to do with you. I have been married for 6 years to a lovely man but year after year he has become more withdrawn, he is kind and patient and a good laugh at times. Yet I am so very lonely, because there is no emotional connection, sex is something that happens when he wants it every 2 to 4 months and that's not really a marriage. We are very close and he honestly is my best friend, the thought of leaving him devstates me but I really think its comming. We happily went to clinical counselling and I honestly thought that it was work stress or depression that was in the way of our intamacy. What a shock I got! My husband suffers not only from depression but a severe anxiety disorder, to read about anxiety orders is frightening I don't know how he copes he has a successful job and life but really it's a wonder how he has managed. I like many of you thought that I was the problem, I wasn't pretty enough, my boobs were small, I wasn;t funny enough, I was annoying BS! It took 3 sessions with a clinical psychologist to see I wasn't the problem it was him. This has been heart breaking and he is now seeing several specialists and taking the necessary medication. I wish that was it, that I could cope with but I have since been told that he has no emotional intelligence. Many will not know what that is, look it up it might explain why so many of your husbands act in a simillar way. Basically he has no idea about anyone but him self, he cannot understand emotion, tears, love the way we can. I don't think that will change with the meds and teh counselling. I could stay but we have no children and I would like children, it's not even that we are not have enough sex to conceieve but that there is a possibility that they will be the same it's actually genetic or that he can't love them imagine a parent that cannot be touched by there own children. My husband can touch you but you can't touch him, it's in his brain he feels itchy or like something is crawling on him. The counsellor said he can desenstize, lets see. I will give it one year of meds and counselling, I do not relish the prospect of being on my own and at 32 I feel like I have wasted so many years trying to help someone who needs proper care. I am a strong believer in that anything is possible, that he can change if he wants me badly enough, he says he does but can you really stay with someone who has to learn how to act to love you.
He loved me before so why not now....ask the psychologist, it's really complicated!
Stay or go, i'm utterly confused
But to all of you out there, hold on to your self confidence and think about seeing a clinical psychologist!
All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.