Figuring out what kind of sex you want is not the same as knowing what you don’t want.
Increase your sexual intelligence as your gift to your partner this Valentine's Day. Learn more from my new book.
Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex--and How to Get It
Book Excerpt, Page 4:
"Our ideas about sex are so complicated that we make the activity complicated. I’m here to make both your ideas and your sexual activity less complicated. In my thirty-plus years as a sex therapist and marriage counselor, this almost always makes sex easier and more enjoyable. In many cases, more frequent, too.
When we’re young, sexual desire is driven by hormones, lust, hunger, novelty, and an urge to prove ourselves. Most of us are soooo horny. We desire the most profound—and primitive—fusion with our lust object. If only we could unzip our torso and he or she could climb right in!
We’re told that eventually, desire will be driven, not by hormones, but by love. We plan to feel, one day, “you’re so great, so perfect for me, I want you.”
Every one of us learns about sex when we have the body of a young person. By the time we’re thirty, virtually no one has that body anymore. And forty? You can look fantastic. You can have great style, that special something that still attracts attention. But you no longer have the body you had when you were learning about sex. The body you have now behaves differently, doesn’t it?
If you use your young adult vision of sex with your mature body, you’re going to have trouble. And your emotions will rebel: if sex means, for example, instant wetness, rock-hard erections, pounding intercourse, and simultaneous orgasm, you will feel anxious about failing—and that’s another reason to not initiate sex, or to not respond when your partner does."
Psychology Today says "read this book if you want to improve your sex life" --out in paperback & kindle this week! http://alturl.com/tqh39
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