The Meaning of Menopause: Part Of My Identitiy
Over the course of our adult lives, women get somewhat attached to our cycle. It's part of us; we operate our lives on this cycle. At some point this cycle changes and we know what it means for our bodies but what does it mean to our identity?
It takes us a few years to learn how to live in harmony with our cycles and many times wish we could get rid of it. It does, however, remind us that we are the life line for the next generation. It reminds us of what power we hold.
It's also part of our identity sexually. I always identified myself as a powerful, sexy diva. I very much embraced that as part of my identity as a woman. I had no idea how much my hormonal balance was a big deal and made all that possible.
When I entered into menopause at 43, I wasn't ready to give up that part of my identity. Rather than feel like a sexy diva, I felt like a wreck. Not only did I feel like a wreck, but I felt cheated. I was supposed to have another few years before I entered into menopause...right? I felt like a young woman in an old woman's body. I saw the signs of rapid aging, my skin was different, I put on a few pounds and things were operating differently sexually.
For a couple of months I felt depressed about it. I wasn't prepared mentally for it. I was physically drained and it was physically painful. I acknowledged the change and came to the point where I decided that my body doesn't change my identity. I drive my health and I decided to do something.
I had aligned myself with some good people who were interested in a natural approach to health. Yoga was a good place for info and so was my chiropractor. My chiropractor told me about a compounding pharmacy and I started from there. I educated myself on what was happening to my body, I found Web sites like EmpowHer.com, I found some good books and I went to seminars.
Once I got everything back in balance physically, I could sort out the emotions and the meaning. I could have let this event take me out. I couldn't change the event. I couldn't change the outcome. What I could change was how I felt about it and what it meant. Rather than feeling depressed and old, I felt totally energized.
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Add a Comment12 Comments
CharlotteSal,
Wonderful column. It IS a confusing time of life, because all those hormones in transition affect us in every way -- mentally, physically, spiritually. I am happy to read how you've come through your journey. I'm not quite to the other side of it yet, but I'm on the way. Thanks again for your point of view.
July 3, 2009 - 6:40pmThis Comment
I love the article-Definitely can relate to this regarding identity. I know for me I had some of those same feelings and emotions. Glad I took my identity in my hands and searched for natural healthy alternatives to help me deal with my menopause. We all all need to know that we can be the sexy diva's. Menopause does not control me, I control menopause. Tally
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July 3, 2009 - 6:48pmWe agree that menopause does not mean that your life is over. It simply is a natural part of life and there are plenty of ways of dealing with it. At BodyLogicMD we believe that a combination of bioidentical hormone therapy, nutrition, and fitness are the perfect way to help a woman get back to her old self.
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July 7, 2009 - 2:51pmI actually looked forward to menopause. The only trouble I've had is that I haven't responded well to HRT. My DH's trouble has been with my hot flashes, LOL! Sometimes, though, that can be a rather funny experience.
July 7, 2009 - 5:23pmI wonder what sort of HRT you went with alysiak. Did you get your adrenals tested? Taking an adrenal supplement did a world of good for me and the hot flashes.
July 7, 2009 - 6:04pmThanks for your input! I did have a test done, but that was years ago. I also tried a soy-based product, but that didn't bode well. My doctor thinks that I should try again, perhaps with a bio-identical, this time. :))
July 7, 2009 - 6:52pmI highly recommend the bioidentical. Do a saliva test, it's more accurate.
July 7, 2009 - 7:41pmI recently was prescribed Neurontin for nerve damage to the right side of my face. I was shocked to read that it has been reported to help hot flashes. Effexor XR had run the gamut with me. My husband takes blood thinners and is cold all the time. You can imagine how it goes every night. I always bring an ice bag to bed with me and put in on the small of my back.
Since the start of Neurontin no hot flashes. Knock on wood. I only have one fan on low on my side of the bed. It's hard to balance everything with my family, but we will get through it.
July 11, 2010 - 2:40pm'Surgical Menopause' is a drastic situation. It makes natural menopause seem like a dream. For those of you women who have gone through this process or change the way God intended; thank him. Thank God that you escaped the 'hysterectomy mill'. There are over two million women in the U.S. walking around with their female organs amputated. These women know the meaning of hell on earth. I should know. I'm one of them.
July 11, 2010 - 6:50pmI am so sorry. Can you explain more what you are going through, both physically, mentally, emotionally, to describe a hysterectomy as your "female organs being amputated" and that you know the "meaning of hell on earth"?
July 11, 2010 - 8:13pm