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Are You Having an Emotional Affair?

By HERWriter
 
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Would You Have an Emotional Affair? oneinchpunch/Fotolia

An affair doesn’t have to include sexual relations. An emotional affair is an involvement of the heart where you share emotional secrets, sometimes including intimate secrets about your significant other and your relationship with that person.

In an affair of the heart, you are emotionally invested in someone who is not your partner or spouse.

In an article on Psychcentral.com, sex and relationship expert Tammy Nelson said, "Emotional affairs are very real things. In fact, over half of all emotional affairs start out innocently as online friendships. More than 70 percent of those friendships or flirtations will end up as real time affairs."

You can easily disguise an emotional affair as a friendship. But, you are only fooling yourself and you are breaking the bond of trust with the person you are committed, if you commit an emotional affair.

Are you having an emotional affair? Have you been fooling yourself about it?

Here are some possible signs that what you're involved in is an emotional affair:

• You don't tell your significant other about conversations and meetings that you have with this person.

• You have private time with someone other than your partner.

• You share information with someone else besides your partner and hide this from your partner.

• Do you spruce yourself up to see someone besides your significant other?

• You would feel guilty if your partner saw you with this person?

• You text this person more than you do your significant other.

• You thinking about this person first thing in the morning.

• You blow off your family for this person.

• You share good news with this person first.

• You fantasize about this person.

If you are in an emotional affair, the best thing to do is end it. You don’t have to ghost the individual, but redirect and rededicate yourself to your partner if you want to save the relationship.

People may be addicted to the excitement and attraction of an emotional affair. It is new, and you don’t have any of those old feelings of anger like you might have with a partner.

"Emotional "Emotional Affairs 101." Oprah.com. Web. 17 Feb. 2016.
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Emotional-Affairs-101#ixzz40G39IAWe

"Three Signs of an Emotional Affair."  Psychcentral.com.  Web.  17 Feb. 2016.
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/08/09/3-sure-signs-of-an-emotional-affair

"Ten Signs You Are Having An Emotional Affair."  Huffington Post.  Web.  17 Feb.  2016.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/10/emotional-affair-_n_4922329.html

Affairs 101." Oprah.com. Web. 17 Feb. 2016.
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Emotional-Affairs-101#ixzz40G39IAWe

"Three Signs of an Emotional Affair." Psychcentral.com. Web. 17 Feb. 2016.
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/08/09/3-sure-signs-of-an-emotional-affair

"Ten Signs You Are Having An Emotional Affair." Huffington Post. Web. 17 Feb. 2016.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/10/emotional-affair-_n_4922329.html

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

An emotional affair may seem excitingly refreshing and a big ego booster to you. But it won't be "just words" and "all fun and games" to your significant other when you are found out! And believe me they will catch you - either by accident or by detective work. And when they do, your real world will get turned totally uPsiDeDowN in a matter of moments! To them it will be betrayal of the worst kind. Not physical, but emotional. And when a person feels betrayed emotionally, it destroys all trust. And if you are currently in a fairly stable relationship with your spouse, you will sadly regret ever venturing down this slippery slope. Even an emotionally charged "fantasy sexting affair" can undermine and destroy everything you have worked so hard to build with your real-life partner! So here's my personal advise to any who are pouring their thoughts and energy into an emotional affair or online fantasy sexting... JUST END IT!! DON'T GO BACK! DON'T EVEN LOOK BACK! It will be much less painful than the real crushing heartbreak you will experience if you loose the one connection with the one person you really love and care about - the one person who really loves and cares about you! Once you have cut off the connection with that untouchable "Dream-Boat", focus your attention and emotions 100% on your mate! Emoji them all over with Real Love! Apply generously the "Golden Rule - Do to others what you would want done to yourself! Trust me - The real life rewards you will receive for doing so will far outweigh any temporary gratification you may currently be "only thinking" you are enjoying with some "fantasy lover". GM

March 4, 2016 - 12:57am
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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