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Happily Together But Living in Separate Places

By HERWriter Guide
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happy together in separate places Buccina Studios/Photodisc/Thinkstock

The title to this piece might sound like a contradiction in terms but apparently it isn't -- not by a long shot.

Elle Magazine wrote an article recently about happily married or long-term couples who have chosen to have private residences to themselves and then get together often for dates, dinner, just being together, sex and co-parenting.

Often, this lifestyle was for the rich or artistic, but nowadays there are regular couples who are living this way too.

While happily living apart is more common in shorter-term unmarried couples, many of these couples have been together for years -- sometimes far more than a decade. Some live within blocks of each other but simply choose not to live together, and not just because the stigma of "living in sin" is long gone in most Western parts (and some are actually married).

So why do happy couples do it?

For their own space -- a private place to go where one can live undisturbed, but knowing a loving partner is living somewhere close by.

If one is a slob and the other is neat, then neither have to deal with the others cleaning habits. Each can walk away and live in a harmonious coupledom -- separately.

Not everyone is cut out for living with others, which is why so many living-together couples say that they love their partners but the day-to-day interactions are what drive them crazy.

This is when two small residences (that may not be as expensive as one large one) can be a relationship saver. Nit-picking isn't common and the daily grind doesn't make them closer. It draws them apart.

When looking at the comments section under the article, the general consensus is one of agreement. Yes, marriage and long-term relationships can be great, but they're often better when living apart, especially when there are no children.

When there are chldren involved, it seems that there is one primary residence for the children, while the other is more of a fun house to hang out in. Kind of like a divorce, without the bitterness or anger.

Comments include this from "browneyedgirl" - "It definitely works for me. For such a long time, I thought that i [sic] was the only one living like this.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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