It's always struck me as hilarious that there are so many articles written about the female sex drive or lack thereof. I don't know why. Perhaps it's because it just seems archaic to me that men are perceived as the lusty ones and women are prim unless they're the "wrong" kinds of women and then they're supposed to be insatiable creatures of the night, hardly even human.
I laugh because what I feel is more accurate is that most women simply do not get
a) credit for the subtlety of their sexuality and
b) enough sleep.
Yes, that's what I said. They don't get enough sleep. Since most of the women I know, regardless of their sexual orientation, age, or social status do more activities between their waking and sleeping hours than they really feel comfortable with, most of them are exhausted. Of course I'm not saying men aren't exhausted too but since I'm a woman, this is my perspective.
As an exhausted person, I do feel my sex drive is affected and of course, the more relaxed and well rested I am, the more "in the mood" I become. Of course good feelings, health and a dose of chocolate do NOT hurt, but if you're fantasizing about a hot shower and a clean bed more often than steamy soapy someone and a hot bedroom, you're too tired to get it on.
This, however, is nothing to be ashamed of. We are tired, we do too much, we take on the world and the worlds of others, we do the laundry and the dishes and the homework and still go for the abs or the buns or whatever else we can't let go much longer. It's a LOT of work.
If you or your partner are lamenting the lack of nooky in the night, I would suggest taking a "mental health day" to recharge and, quite literally, to sleep. Spend eight hours in silence, on your couch, or in bed - yes even during the day when the children are in school! When you awaken, you may just be reminded of how cute your honey looks in that new pair of jeans. Or you may just be reminded that you have wanted to place a big kiss on those lovely lips for days but simply haven't had the time or the strength.
Get some rest, then get going!
Aimee Boyle is a mom and teacher, among other things.