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Ask A Cougar: Why do Younger Men Like Older Women?

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I got an email from an anonymous cougar who wonders why younger men like older women. She’s had a relationship with a young man and described it as torture, always worried if he’s comparing you to younger women.

Well, I got news for you. He’s already compared you with girls his age. They came up silly, slutty, and boring. You came up intriguing, sexy, and exciting. He went with you. That’s not my opinion. I interviewed my cub, Michael, because, I too have often wondered about this.

Here’s how the conversation went:

Pamela: You’re 28. Why are you attracted to older women?

Michael: Women in their twenties are a) quite boring, b) quite unintelligent, c) only wanting to settle down into some kind of marriage situation, and d) really not bringing much to the table.

Pamela [clearing her throat as she attempts to recover from his pointed analysis]: Top three things that appeal to you about older women?

Michael: Sexually, they know specifically what they want. That helps a younger cub who is not necessarily inexperienced but may lack direction and confidence in terms of how to please a woman. A younger woman in her twenties probably doesn’t know herself or what she likes so wouldn’t be able to communicate it.

Pamela: Why is this sexual confidence so much more attractive?

Michael: It makes for a better, more fulfilling sexual experience.

Pamela: Anything else you like about older women?

Michael: In theory, a cougar is more self-sufficient and they’ll pay for things. A girl in her twenties probably is a student or in transition. It’s not as much fun. You’re limited to what you can do socially and travel-wise.

Third thing I’d say that is appealing about older women is that they’re more sexual. They’re willing to explore more and know what buttons to push to challenge the cub to a higher level of performance.

Pamela: I think you already mentioned sex. It's mostly about sex for you then?

Michael: It’s not just sexual. The summation of the appeal of cougars is they know exactly what they want and they communicate that.

Pamela: Any downside?

Michael: Gray hair. Kidding. I would say social awkwardness and different interests and friends. That makes it more difficult to share things. A cougar’s done a lot of things by her age. She has more specific wants and needs socially. You’re not going to get her to just hang out say.

Another big negative is if they have kids. Also, there’s a limited future in the sense that if you end up falling in love and there isn’t clear communication about expectations, there could be problems. It’s not the same outcome as it might be for an older man marrying a younger woman. It’s less socially accepted for an older woman to be with a younger man so it requires more effort and understanding on both parts.

Lastly, she’s probably out of touch with younger culture.

Pamela: Culture? [snickering] That’s a big word to describe sitting around watching TV.

Michael: And they definitely stereotype.

Pamela: Out of the mouths of babes, is all I can say.

Add a Comment32 Comments

EmpowHER Guest

Back when I was in college, I lived in an apartment complex. There was a married couple in their late 30's or early 40's. During the day the husband went to work and I sometimes would hang out with the wife by the pool. She would flirt a lot and eventually we had sex. It was simply out of this world. She taught me how to please a woman and she would drive me crazy. It lasted for ten months or so and after returning from summer break, I discovered they had moved out over the summer and I never saw or heard from her again.

July 26, 2017 - 1:37pm
EmpowHER Guest

I am 32 and my boyfriend is 23. At first sight I look younger, because I do workout, eat according to pyramid diet, drink at least 2 liters water, use organic cosmetic and natural oils for skin and hair care. I was in a long relationship 7 years and I have two daughters: 9 years and 6 years. My ex cheated me with more women and girls, so we separated because of cheating. But we decided to stay friends. When I met my current boyfriend( 2,5 years ago), I didn't feel guilty. Even my two daughters accepted him. He is 6'2 tall, with black hair, medium skin, athletic body with muscles and six-pack, dark brown eyes and perfect face. When he asked me how old am I, I told him my real age(29), he didn't believe me and told me that I look like 21. Then we started our relationship. Now we have 4 month-old baby boy. I got fit for relative short time. He still thinks that I am the most attractive woman. Most of my friends think that we are the most attractive and the best couple. I am 5'9 tall, I have a hourglass body, light brown hair, fair skin and blue-green eyes.

April 29, 2017 - 9:32am
EmpowHER Guest

I am happily married to a woman 17 years older than me. When we met and married, I was 25, she was 42. Five years later, we have two kids and third healthy baby on the way. She says we were meant to be together because in her previous marriage of 10 years, she couldn't conceive, even after several failed ivf treatments. She was hesitant to marry me because she didn't think she'd be able to get pregnant. We conceived naturally all three times, and she says that as long as her womb is capable, she'll bear me more children. She is a beautiful blonde, and even at 47, she is still a head turner. After the first baby, her belly and butt became a little flabby, but I love her curves and practically worship them. All and all, I think I'm the luckiest man in the world.

July 14, 2016 - 10:17am
EmpowHER Guest

I've been there too. When I was a college student in my early 20s, I was too busy working my way through college to date. I met an older, divorced woman who was 36, and we started as friends who studied together late night. I developed a bit of a crush on her but thought that she'd be more interested in a guy who was her age or perhaps a little older. One night she intimated that she was a bit frustrated sexually, which was weird because we never talked about sex. I took the bait and asked her why, and it turned out she was very attracted to me too, but wondered how it could ever work out because of the age differential.

To make a long story short, we ended up making love that night, and afterwards, often. How did it work out? Well, we're married and have two kids, one of them conceived from within the first 60 days (less actually) we first became intimate. She still looks great (she's a blonde bombshell!) that frankly I would have considered "out of my league" had she been an unmarried, early 20-something. We both think we "married up" and it's still going strong.

July 11, 2016 - 9:26am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I never thought I was a cougar...but a man 20 yrs younger chased after me..I fought my feelings for months...until finally...I gAve in...age does make a difference. I got tired of being the teacher..sexually it was AWESOME...best sex I ever had. Have to b honest...was only looking for a good time..but then I fell hard in love. The feelings weren't mutual he was cheating with 6 other women. I'm 48 he's 28. He asked me to marry him..but he's a chronic gambler, animal in heat fucker, plus a now how used. Waited over 90 days to fuck him...sorry I evèr met him..when I found out he was cheating ..asked him to leave we were living together ...he hit me 3 times and threw me up against a wall...called cold he went to jail..plus now I have A restraining order on his skinny ass...iron waiting if he comes back. I treated him wonderful but he got angry b/c he didn't want to lose me. Don't man share.fg

October 16, 2016 - 12:37pm
EmpowHER Guest

I am 22. I am currently dating a 36 yo woman. She is beautiful with a voluptuous body. Shes very intuitive and caring. She has two kids, a seven year old son and a three year old daughter. She's also five months pregnant with my son. We have been together for about two year, and we are living the life. Before she was with me she went through a lot. Her father was never there for her and her mother raised her incorrectly. She's been misused by many men and because of her ill teachings she thought it was ok. She thought she brought it upon herself because she was promiscuous. Not to long before she met me she let a guy and a few of his friends over her place. They played a "game" called Baby Roulette, where each took turns on her and left her pregnant not knowing whose the father of her daughter. Her son who woke up from the sound of laughing men, saw her and she told him to leave and continued giving one of the men oral. When her asked what she was doing the men said givin you a brother or sister. He then asked if one of them was going to be their dad. All of them laughed and said no and her son left. About a year later that's were I came in. I treated her like a queen and slowly she became one, although she slipped up few times i never gave up on her. I love her and plan to be with her forever. I always beat myself over the things I can't get for her due to my finances but she always calls me her hero anyway. Once I graduate, I'll be sure to give her the world. Step one I've cleaned out my savings and I am gonna buy her an engagement ring I have a $12k budget so that should suffice for now until I get into a real career. I just look forward to spending the rest of my life with this lovely woman!

December 7, 2014 - 10:07pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I think u r a lvoely and mature guy..she is very lucky. Yes, u re a hero. I am in my 50s and have a38 yr old hero too..he is beautiful. Good luck. I can't believe how mature u are!..well done

February 2, 2016 - 3:05am
EmpowHER Guest

When I was 18, I dated a woman who was 32. She didn't mind just hanging out as opposed to going out. She might have been a bit immature for her age at the time though. Definitely not immature in bed though, like a lot of younger women are. Also one thing I like about older women is that they actually look like women. Young women still have that young girl look to them. I like womanly bodies and womanly faces. It's weird when she has a womanly body but the face of a 16 year old.

November 26, 2014 - 9:47am
EmpowHER Guest

I met a person 32 years old (man)and I am 50 years old (women), I feel I am going to love him. Since I met him I feel joy and happiness in my heart. although he is living in other country and we are speaking on Skype and he wants me to go to see him and live in his country.

I feel so good and I fee I am alive. Just I wonder is it OK to do it but the only thing I am afraid to love him so much and he get married with some one else. But the feeling I have is amazing.

November 11, 2014 - 10:48pm
EmpowHER Guest

I wonder why many think at 22 that I should rather be running around seeking fun. Well, maybe I'm a bit weird but it's a kind of comfort finding one almost my age who thinks the same way i do. Only crazy thing about mine is that she will be 50 her next b'day. We are not just in love but do hold similar views, philosophy, beliefs and ideas about life. Sure there are the storms and the fact that we are swimming against the tide of societal norm but we are determined, dedicated to make it happen. She thinks i am an old soul and i think she is a sweet to a fault angel. Sometimes it really do seem i am the older one cause she admits to having learnt a bit more about life from me. Lol. Plus we both strongly believe in God. Strange? Well, like you said, i'm done seeking fun and playing games. I want fulfilment, happiness and love and i am getting it in a much older lover!

July 28, 2014 - 6:27am
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