I got an email from an anonymous cougar who wonders why younger men like older women. She’s had a relationship with a young man and described it as torture, always worried if he’s comparing you to younger women.
Well, I got news for you. He’s already compared you with girls his age. They came up silly, slutty, and boring. You came up intriguing, sexy, and exciting. He went with you. That’s not my opinion. I interviewed my cub, Michael, because, I too have often wondered about this.
Here’s how the conversation went:
Pamela: You’re 28. Why are you attracted to older women?
Michael: Women in their twenties are a) quite boring, b) quite unintelligent, c) only wanting to settle down into some kind of marriage situation, and d) really not bringing much to the table.
Pamela [clearing her throat as she attempts to recover from his pointed analysis]: Top three things that appeal to you about older women?
Michael: Sexually, they know specifically what they want. That helps a younger cub who is not necessarily inexperienced but may lack direction and confidence in terms of how to please a woman. A younger woman in her twenties probably doesn’t know herself or what she likes so wouldn’t be able to communicate it.
Pamela: Why is this sexual confidence so much more attractive?
Michael: It makes for a better, more fulfilling sexual experience.
Pamela: Anything else you like about older women?
Michael: In theory, a cougar is more self-sufficient and they’ll pay for things. A girl in her twenties probably is a student or in transition. It’s not as much fun. You’re limited to what you can do socially and travel-wise.
Third thing I’d say that is appealing about older women is that they’re more sexual. They’re willing to explore more and know what buttons to push to challenge the cub to a higher level of performance.
Pamela: I think you already mentioned sex. It's mostly about sex for you then?
Michael: It’s not just sexual. The summation of the appeal of cougars is they know exactly what they want and they communicate that.
Pamela: Any downside?
Michael: Gray hair. Kidding. I would say social awkwardness and different interests and friends. That makes it more difficult to share things. A cougar’s done a lot of things by her age. She has more specific wants and needs socially. You’re not going to get her to just hang out say.
Another big negative is if they have kids. Also, there’s a limited future in the sense that if you end up falling in love and there isn’t clear communication about expectations, there could be problems. It’s not the same outcome as it might be for an older man marrying a younger woman. It’s less socially accepted for an older woman to be with a younger man so it requires more effort and understanding on both parts.
Lastly, she’s probably out of touch with younger culture.
Pamela: Culture? [snickering] That’s a big word to describe sitting around watching TV.
Michael: And they definitely stereotype.
Pamela: Out of the mouths of babes, is all I can say.