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Boyfriend says he can't have sex with me

By May 2, 2015 - 2:53am
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My boyfriend and I have been together a year and we adore each other. Our relationship is perfect apart from one thing...sex!
I'm slightly older than him and his previous girlfriend had been very young. As a result I was much more experienced than his previous partners. Initially I didn't realise this was a problem but he later told me it intimidated him and he liked to 'teach a girl'.
I went travelling and we basically fell in love over the phone. He flew out to see me and things were perfect. Things were fine although at times it felt a bit strained in the bedroom. A couple of months ago my boyfriend started losing his erections during sex. I became really upset and thought it was me. The more we tried to talk about it the more of an issue it became. We recently moved I together and it's amazing but we still don't have sex. I tried to bring it up and caused a huge row and lots of tears. He's now said he just doesn't get the urges to sleep with me and doesn't know if he will. He says he loves me more than anything and wants to spend his whole life with me. If our relationship wasn't so perfect I'd move on but I don't want to throw something amazing away due to sex. Do I stay, keep quiet and hope it passes? My bf does have a few issues mentally, nothing major but he worries and turns things into s big deal in his head. I'm hoping this is what he's done and we can work through it. At the moment he won't even try. We kiss, cuddle a lot, we see each other naked, we love and respect each other but just can't go further. Help me I'm heart broken.

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Hello Peapinky,

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this tough situation and I'd like to offer you some helpful advice.

Since your boyfriend has already expressed his current feelings, it is up to you to decide if you can be in a relationship without sex.  Sexual intimacy is a huge part of being human so at some point you must choose between a relationship without it sex, perhaps an open relationship, or moving on.

You have to consider that your boyfriend will probably want to have sex at some point.  But the question is, will he want to have sex with you. These are decisions you have to make for yourself, because this is your life.


May 2, 2015 - 4:00pm
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