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he never ever touches me

By Anonymous March 29, 2015 - 3:42am
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hi all
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months now.. living together for 2.
I'm 32 .. he is 30.
My boyfriend seems happy, tells me all the time i love you.
I'm not happy.
our relationship sex wise started out great.
now it's almost non existent.
i feel that I am always the one touching him..
i grab his butt.. i put my hands down his boxers.. i kiss him.. i come up behind him and put my arms around him.. i hug him.
i never ever get anything back.

he never touches me sexually.. no passionate kisses..
just pecks on the lips..
i feel like he doesn't desire or want me at all.
i feel like this pathetic puppy dogs always saying hey please play with me , please touch me.. please show me affection.
i feel like i'm starting to emotionally shut down and withdraw.
after only 6 months should he not be able to keep his hands off me?
shouldn't he want to passionately kiss me and sexually touch me?
what should i do?
this is making me feel like in his eyes i am just completely disgusting.

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Hello and thank you for sharing your question.  I am so sorry to hear about your situation.  I'd like to give you some helpful advice on the matter.

Since non-verbal q's have no been successful thus far, I suggest that you try being verbal about your needs.  I only caution you, to use as many "I" statements as possible instead of "you statements.  Using "you" statements will seem accusatory or may have the opposite effect of what you want.

If he has particular reason for acting sexually indifferent to you, it could be phycological changes.  If he, however, does not have a particular reason, and/or is not bothered by the lack of physical intimacy, then it could be a physical change instead of phycological change that he is unaware of.

In any case, it will be impossible for me to speculate the exact reason(s) for his behavior.  I can only encourage you to have an open, non-accusatory conversation with him about it.


March 29, 2015 - 11:15am
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