Facebook Pixel
EmpowHER Guest

I feel like the safe choice!

By Anonymous May 7, 2017 - 2:36pm
Rate This

When I met my SO I was heart broken and didn't want a relationship but needed physical stuff so we decided to be friends with benefits. I even helped him with girls and stuff. We spent a lot of time together and got along so so well. However all the girls he was talking to were all acting weird and ghosting him or being rude so he was having a lot of trouble dealing with it. Our sex life was AMAZING! Like bunnies , we did it everywhere and allll the time. My thighs would hurt quite often because of it. It was passionate and I felt desired and confident that he was also enjoying it as much as I was. I had to leave the country for 3 weeks but it was no issue since we were just friends but we spent every day texting all day and every night on the phone even falling asleep on the phone and waking up together on the phone. During this time we realized we had feelings for eachother and he said that he thinks we should be together. I agreed that once I came back we would be together exclusively. The sexting and the nudes got so much better after that. It was so hot. We would talk about how much better the sex would be once I came back and how many things he wanted to do to me. We were sexting while I was on the airplane. I came back. I went to see him the same night. We had sex but it was a quick one since he hadn't seen me in a while which I understood. We got up the next day and it was like something died. The passion in him disappeared. I thought he'd wanna do it again in the morning but we ended up not having sex for another week eventho I tried to initiate it and got told no. We started having sex once and he went soft after a while so that doesn't count. I am a girl that gets a lot of attention and praisal because of the way I look and I'm a very confident person. However his "usual" type is the exact opposite of me when it comes to body shape or hair/eye color. I am a small hourglass shaped girl with dark hair and hazel eyes. He usually liked skinny(way less curvy body types than mine),blonde girls with blue eyes. He still says I am the hottest girl he has been with (I wouldn't care if I were not)but now I'm starting to think he has lost all attraction to me and is just saying that so I don't feel bad. I was the "f*ck buddy" that could get a boyfriend anyday like a forbidden apple to the girlfriend so I probably am not as interesting to him anymore. I offered going back and doing what we were doing and he said no that he was happy. Probably because no girl was nice to him. I am aware sex is not everything but I'm a very sexual person and we were like bunnies a month ago so I don't understand what is going on. We don't live together but I have been staying with him since I came back because every time I say I wanna go home he insists that I stay and calls me to come back If I do leave. I cook and clean everyday, I listen to his problems, he lays on me and sleeps every afternoon while we watch TV, we talk and stuff but we used to do those things when we were just sleeping together anyway so nothing other than us being exclusive has changed. We workout together and every time he looks at me he makes comments that my body is "going to be" amazing, sends me pictures of girls that are waayyy skinnier and taller than me and look sooo much different than me and says " like this" "like that" all the time. I weigh 126 lbs and am a fit and healthy peraon so I don't even want to lose weight or change my body if you ask me. I just have a different shape than them that my waist is tiny and I have hips and larger thighs and a larger chest. Men tell me how lucky he is to have me almost everyday but I don't think he thinks that at all. Idon't feel like a girlfriend or even a girl that is wanted by her man. I feel like a mom or the safe choice. Because none of the girls he was talking to were giving him attention or what he wanted and I was, I feel like he just said " ahh enough with these girls, I'll just be with her". We were talking the other day and he said he doesn't mind having a sexless relationship with me. I felt hurt by that even though I know he didn't mean it in a bad way. He couldn't resist me before. He looked at me with such attraction in his eyes. He wanted me. He doesn't anymore. It all changed the night I came back. He is not my usual type either as I usually go for taller/ bigger men. But I still find him really attractive and want to be physical with him as often and well as we were before.

I don't know what to do... I've been thinking about telling him all this and wanting to go back to just being friends but I'm scared that will affect our relationship and we won't be as good friends as we are/were. I feel fat and undesired doesn't matter what others tell me.
Sorry this is so long. I'm confused
What do I do? I'm not happy.

Add a CommentComments

There are no comments yet. Be the first one and get the conversation started!

Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sex 101

Get Email Updates

Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!