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my boyfriend cant control his sex drive

By Anonymous July 6, 2010 - 11:28am
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i am just 17 and i dont find myself prepared for sex. my bf is 18 . he wants to have sex and he just cant control his crave. how to i handle this situation .i want him to wait for an year or two. what are the ways by which he can control his sex drive..and how can i convince him to wait. this is badly affecting our relationship and i dont want to lose him.

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This is probably one of the biggest myths, created by man!

Men can ABSOLUTELY control their sex drive. Men, and women, are expected to live in society and have reasonable control over their emotions and behavior. For some reason, this one area of "men's sex drive" has eluded this fact, and provides many excuses that are detrimental and potentially dangerous.

Think about it: if men's sex drives were SO powerful that they absolutely, honestly could not control their actions...what would society be like? My vision is men running around with erections, no pants, humping trees, having sex with any female human or animal nearby. This is silly, of course, but truthfully, it scares me. A man who claims to believe that he has no control over his actions, especially regarding sexual intercourse, frightens me. If he truly believes this, will he take "no" for an answer? He is physically able to, unless he chooses not to. These men who believe they can not control themselves can become abusers, because they do not believe they should control themselves; they feel entitled to sex regardless if the woman is willing and able to consent.

So, if you are shaking your head and saying, "that is not what I meant!", then your boyfriend IS able to control himself. He may not want to, and that is fine. Hormones are powerful. Really, truly powerful. He has many choices to make, and so do you. If you want to wait to have sex, that is great. You can decide how far you want to go with him in physically intimate ways, and tell him upfront. I am so afraid that he will claim to "not be able to control himself" in the heat of the moment and penetrate you without your consent. That is rape.

Please tell him that you do know that he is able to control himself and his sex drive...it's really silly if you think about it. Is his penis driving him around, or what?!

He needs to be mature, grow up, respect women and know that real men absolutely control themselves every day. Those men who choose not to control themselves end up in a situation where they have raped a girl. I am sorry to be so blunt, but this really is this serious. Your teenage boyfriend is not the first male to think that his sex drive is more powerful than any other, and I hope he also realizes his choices and behaviors are even MORE powerful.

He can acknowledge to being "horny", and he can be physically intimate with you in whatever ways YOU want. Both men and women masturbate, and this is a great release of all the sexual feelings...and people who masturbate do it because they CAN control themselves.

How do you feel about all of this?

July 6, 2010 - 2:06pm
EmpowHER Guest

If you are not ready.You are not ready.Do not change your views or do something you do not want to do,because your BF can't control himself.If you do you will regret it and feel really bad.If your BF really cared about you he would be willing to wait until you are ready,instead of pressuring you to have sex.You should not have to convince him to.I am worried he is just trying to get your virginity and move on to the next.Which is classic thing for his age.I know you do not want to lose him,but giving in will NOT guarentee(yes,I know spelled wrong) that you two will remain together.In fact,it is very rare.Guys come and go,but once you lose your viginity,it is forever.A lot of my friends were pressure by their EX(emphasis on ex) BF's and friends to have sex and EVERY one regreted it and put it up there on the list if one of the biggest mistakes they ever made.Your 1st time should be special with someone who truely cares about you,respects you and will wait for you.You deserve better. : )

July 6, 2010 - 12:18pm
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