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My boyfriend & have not had sex in almost 6 months, what does this mean?

By February 1, 2015 - 1:27am
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My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years, over the past 6 months we have notbeen intimate at all he says he has a lot on his mind or whatever & I have tried to be understanding but 6 months isn't normal, I don't think he is cheating so is he just not interested in me anymore, we live together & are usually together quite a lot so it's not that we don't have time, I have told him that this is bothering me & he said he's just stressed, for a while I haven't really been happy & sometimes consider leaving him, is this my only option oh & I have tried to attract him I have went to be with just a long top on & got out the shower & tried to get him to notice me he will come in the bedroom when I'm getting dried ext but does nothing??

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Hello, and thank you for sharing your question. I'm sorry to hear about these relationship troubles you are experiencing.  I'd love to give you some advice on the matter.

First of all, do not take it personally.  There are four things I think are causing a low libido in your boyfriend that are not related to you personally.  

First, stress is a big one.  I know it sounds like a cop-out since you've hear it from his mouth so many times.  However real, chronic stress can have a huge impact on libido.  Lowering stress is specific for each person.  Lowering or even eliminating stress in your boyfriends life will take some investigation as to what it causing it.

Secondly, you did not mention if he takes any medications, but medications can lower libido considerably.  If he is taking strong medications perhaps you should look into their side effects.

Thirdly, low testosterone; this cannot be wished away because it is physical change, not a change in psychological desire.  Hormone therapy can increase testosterone.  

Finally, low dopamine causes a low libido as well.  There are several routes you can take for treating this.  You can ask your doctor about testing and treatments.

I hope this information gives you a starting point to finding solutions.


February 1, 2015 - 10:15am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to fchacon)

Sounds like good advice. Me. I choose to not sleep with my girlfriend for few reasons. One. She crossed a line and lied. Two. After few times I don't trust her so I choose to not have sex with her. I don't even love her or say those words. Very rare I'll hug. Would I cheet on her. Sure if I had time. But between work and school and other things that was said above. I just tolerate her. If she leaves that's fine. If she cheats that's more excuse to kick her out. What suxs. She lives with me and other things. I've told her to leave few times. I need to evict her but due to her having cancer and treatments now. It be evil to kick her out now. I support her as a human. But if she ever wants to talk she afraid to ask few questions cause she knows. So. I tolerate her. Only thing I get out now. Is food that's cook and clean home. Oh. She doesn't have career. But as long she pays her own personal bills that's fine. I once help long ago. No more.

Low T sounds like an excuse and maybe it is. But there guys like me. When pushed. I just quiet doing a lot of things I use to do to get her to leave. But only plus side. Because I'm very busy. A chit chat is a plus. It's not like we fight or argue. That be refreshing. She a muncher now but she pays her cell and keep my house clean and cooks. So I have no complaints there. Me. I have two careers and full time student. I'm struggling and I've ask for help in studies. No help from her. I do house work as needed. It's a nice home. Nice for starter family. Just need her gone. But when. Idk. After treatment is done.

September 3, 2017 - 9:15am
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