My boyfriend is 43 and tells me that he never feels horny, it's always me who initiates sex between us. We've only been seeing each other for nearly a year, so as the relationship is fairly new, I wouldn't have expected so much lack of intimacy between us! He seems to blame a variety of things for not wanting sex, performance anxiety, previous relationship breakdown, etc. I have a normal sex drive and would like to have sex every now and then, but I don't want to be the one initiating it all the time. He looks at celebrity bodies on the internet, even when I'm sleeping in the same room, so I find it hard to believe he doesn't get horny. It hurts me that he looks at other women, when I feel that he never notices me. He makes it quite obvious at times that he's looking at women, often saying 'boobies'. Are all men like this? I've never experienced a relationship like it, we get on fairly well in other areas of our relationship, and seem to want the same things. I even found out that he had been searching online for his previous girlfriend who cheated on him, this hurt a lot, as my past relationships are just that in my past. He's not the easiest of guys to talk to when something is bothering me, as he often gets moody and won't talk to me. He's had treatment for his anxiety, seeing a counsellor for a few years, a lot of his anxiety was caused after his brother died, but then he had a normal relationship with his last girlfriend, so I can't see why he blames his lack of motivation on the death of his brother and breakdown of his last relationship. I don't know all the details of his split with his ex, maybe he wasn't very intimate with her and that's why she cheated, he did tell me he used to be very tactile with her, which he isn't with me. His Mum thinks he's afraid of getting too close to someone in case he gets hurt again - but we've all had bad relationships, we just need to move on and get over it. His last girlfriend has moved on and is happy living with her new boyfriend. I don't want kissy kissy all the time, but some love and affection would be really nice. His younger brother is the complete opposite to him, very touchy feely, lovey dovey with his girlfriend, and I find it uncomfortable sometimes being in their presence as I would like a relationship with more intimacy. I have no one to talk to about this, so everything just stays inside, which is not good for me to keep things bottled up. Any help or advice would be appreciated - thanks.
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