We are in a civil case where I have asked for a Separate Maintenance Agreement, to continue until one of us die or decide to divorce. I love my husband and I know that no one can change him, he must decide to not drink on his own and get the help he needs to do it right. He is sending me some money each month while we are in this process but it is not quite enough and I am working as a part time Walmart employee. I am healthier now that I am away from him and find there are times when we talk over the phone that I feel like an over stretched guitar string ready to break. He is talking about our marriage realistically most of the time and we are beginning to actually talk about the drinking problem which is the largest source of stress and relationship breaks. I think one day go back and the next I am determined to stick this out. I don't know what to do right now. Working keeps my hands and feet busy and my mind busy so I don't feel or think much about the separation and the possibility that he will ask for a divorce. I cannot run away from the situation and I don't know what to do. I refuse to go back into the deep, dark hell hole of depression, that I do now for sure.