Facebook Pixel

Sexual problems

By November 23, 2009 - 6:40am
Rate This

I am in a very loving relationship for 13 years now, we dont have any children and still in our 30's. I think I avoid sex most of the time. When I was growing up my family were very strict and ive always felt sexually repressed and not that confident, but have managed to overcome that in most situations and have and still do enjoy sex......

Now as I get older I feel more and more that sex is dirty? (I know!!!) im put off by it, avoid it, cant seem to talk to my partner about it... but when we do have sex it is amazing, we dirty talk etc...but I seem to want it to end as soon as possible?? I am so uptight!

Its damaging my relationship with my partner, as he now feels he has lost confidence and feels he's still young and that he wants to enjoy and experiment with me, but I keep brushing him away. He says he cant take the relationship for much longer plus he thinks I am bossy and controlling,(which is true I guess) he says he loves me very much and doesnt know what to do.

I don't know what to do to change - the thought of not being with him after 13 years will be unbearable, you see we are very close in other ways and have built a great life together.

I need to know there are other ways to be helped, yes I know I can get out the sexy underwear, but I feel my problem is more deeply routed and feel its getting worse.

Other related issues: I have possible polycystic ovaries, I have had a scan and need to see my doctor in the week. I don't fantasize about my partner, but tend to about other women, which is also worrying me, as I know I dont want to be in a relationship with a woman.

Please help.

x m

Add a Comment1 Comments

Thanks for you kind words! Since I last wrote I had a good think before looking at counseling and my partner and I have a good heart to heart. It seems my partner has been down because he lost his father 5 years ago and when I push him away he feels very alone.

Most of the time i am very incontrol and sometimes when I need looking after, he dosnt know how to help, but thats okay us girls go though so much and its hard for men to understand all the time.

We have been very loving again, but when we have sex, intercourse hurts, this is a recent thing. Ive been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries, and had a smear test and my doctor said that indeed my cerfix is very tight - might be something to do with polycystic ovaries. Now I have to wait 5/6 weeks for a Gyno appointment.

So all this must be to do with the hormones, around my period I can be very moody and irritable - but im trying to overcome that and listen and enjoy things more.

Also do u recommend I go to see a private gyno - as 6 weeks anything can happen (bit worried)

thanks again
x m

December 1, 2009 - 11:16am
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sex & Relationships

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Sex & Relationships Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!