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By March 28, 2010 - 5:28am
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In january this year I had to have a termination of pregnancy which i have and am still finding so so so difficult to deal with. My partner is so so so good to me and i just feel so0o0 down all the time about this. As you said it feels weird that I want it more tha n he does. Every morning he has his own little private session in the shower when im in bed.. and that hurts. is that stupid. I just feel like he doesnt want me in that way.. or like im not good enough. I cant talk to him or anyone about this...

I just need someone to talk too. I know he is always tired, butt I once tried to talk to him and said quote" I know you have been really tired lately, nut i think we need to make some more US time.."and...... a week later he got angry about it and that said if someone tells him or a guy to do something that they wont do it.. I just dont get it. I swim am superfit and healthy.. I just would have though he would want me. Its been nearly 6 weeks since our last encounter which wasnt very good... Thats when he got upset with me for bringing it up. OI wish I didnt. But i love him. As i said, he has done so much for me you dont understand... anyway please please no nasty cheating comments i know that is so0o0o NOT true as he is in bed my 8pm.. ha ha. thanks,

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Thank you very much Rosa :)
Yes I agree a womans intinct is best, I know he is not cheating.I know that he loves me because of all the things he does for me. Infact i just had my birthday last week and he made it so0o special, and he just bought us a puppy.. I mean im at UNI and not able to work so financially he does so0o much as well.
Yes he has been rather stressed, but I think when its you in the situation you imediately think its you..
I dont talk about the pregnancy with him at all.. I did it for him.. not that he forced me but yeah.. I knew I couldnt provide a life for the little one on my own. I did get a tattoo with the star sign of the baby in the middle..
I want to say and ask him about this issue, but I dont think he thinks there is anything wrong. I dont wanna hurt him either.. Its hard becasue its USUALLY the guys in this situation, but he knows im a very sexually active person and well WOMEN have needs too.. he is 27 and i am 21 so i thought he was in his prime...? but i will IF I CAN try and talk to him...
Thanks again ROSA :)

March 28, 2010 - 3:22pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to sls014)

Hey Simmone hope things are coming along better. If your love life hasn't sparked up yet try getting in the moment on a day the tension is down to nothing, a day when he comes home and watches some tv or drinks a beer, etc either when he's relaxing or getting a little nap, or asleep-but relaxed (if he's one of those that "needs his sleep" be cautious...) and be very gentle...
dress up very cute and gorgeous and perform oral sex softly, run your fingers softly through every part of his body you can touch until you both start to get more into it...i hope this can start things off in a dry time!
have a top of the line condom ready to make him extra confident you're not interested in pregnancy, also the ultra thin ones are great. yes, do this even if you're on birth control, because he needs that reassurance.
hope it helps.

April 18, 2010 - 8:06am

Hi sls014,

I am very sorry you have to suffer from the loss of a terminated pregnancy and now having relationship problems as well. I cannot tell you that he is cheating, no one can unless they know your boyfriend personally and have seen him cheating. A woman's heart and instinct knows best and if you feel that there is no one else and that the problem is definitely something else, then you are probably dead on. The problem here is that your boyfriend seems very unwilling to talk about the situation, perhaps approaching it from a different direction is best? Try asking him if there is something you two can work on, as a couple, to improve your sex life? Honestly, his statement "if you tell a guy to do something he's not going to do it" seems rather defensive. Has he been under a lot of stress lately? Work? School? Could it be that he is just avoiding sex for now since it's so soon after the termination of pregnancy? It could be that he is just psychologically not ready for sex or he may be afraid of getting you pregnant again. It has only been around 2 months since this and even if you had sex after January, it may have made him feel inadequate, uncomfortable, or worried about having to go through this painful situation again.

If you can't get an answer out of him, give him some time. That may be just what he needs.

Good Luck to you! Sending positive wishes your way.

March 28, 2010 - 6:26am

Sorry i should have started with why my boyfiend hasnt slept with me in nealrly 6 weeks.. Got a bit confused as i replied to a previous thread...

March 28, 2010 - 5:30am
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