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total lack of sex

By Anonymous December 14, 2010 - 5:20pm
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I am with my husband for 7 years now. Married for 4. we haven't had sex in 6.5 months. I stopped broaching the topic, because the converation goes nowhere. He is still very affectionate towards me & He's very cuddly & warm to me. But,. when ever I try to physically initate anthing other then a kiss or hug, he says not now babe. I am at a real loss what to do. We have a really good relationship other then this.. I asked him if he can't talk me about this, If we can go talk someone. & hes like there is no problem. I love you, I want you, etc.

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January 1, 2011 - 11:30am
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Anonymous (reply to Rosa Cabrera RN)

Hi Rosa,

I am quite offended by this individual who thinks its okay to bash people, & make comments about my cancer- asking me if my brain went etc.. I feel that they shouldn't be allowed to be on here if they cant control themselves. This is blog is meant to offer advice, medical opnions etc. I really cany fathom why somebody would come on here to offend & make horrific comments. I am sure you can appreciate my opinion. being that you are a Moderator
Thank you.

January 2, 2011 - 2:57pm
EmpowHER Guest

i can relate. my boyfriend used to he all over me and then it dwendled to once every month or every other IF I am lucky. There is no problem in the affection dept-he is always touching me and kissing me and hugging me,but no sex. I tell him I am turned on and he seems to feel sorry cause he says "poor thing" and then holds me. Mine has ED issues and won't admit it to me or himself. He goes to doctor for blood pressure and other issues,but he won't even get help for us. I am younger than him and at the age where I am needing the love making to feel forfilled emotionally as well as sexually. When we do make love, I feel so close to him-like we are one. I need to feel that. I cry all the time, esp when I see couples on TV or movies making love (oh lord..a couple on TV now is getting it on...time to change channel). It is like it hurts deep inside. it sucks to be jealous of a couple on TV!!

December 30, 2010 - 12:48am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

to Anonymous from 1248am on 12/30,
I completly feel your burden... & i know exactly what you are
going through. I wish you the best- & hope this situation turns around for you.

December 30, 2010 - 8:34pm
EmpowHER Guest

Hi there,

I completely can relate... I noticed you wrote that he says if you would leave it alone it would come back. That's pretty crazy. Because in essence he is admitting & acknowledging that thereis a problem. As in my situation, he says over & over there is no problem. & I wish you all the best with your desicion to stay & tie the knot, etc. IDo you have a close relationship with him other then this? That might be a helpful decing factor for you as well.

December 22, 2010 - 6:56pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Hi thanks for your response. He does admit something is wrong, there is no dening that. It took a 150 degree turn around. He says it's all the stress and he is tired all the time. I am glad in a way it happened before a major committment. Our relationship is good otherwise, but that is a big part of a relationship to me. It's the way I knew he always wanted me and looked at me with a hunger. That's what I miss feeling that sexy and wanted I guess. It's sad I know that much...

December 22, 2010 - 7:43pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Hi there,
You are quite welcome.

I feel really bad,,, that you are going through this... I am quite sad as well. I wish you the best with your decision & relationship. It's hard call- when you have a such compatibility with your other half- ^& this is only thing standing in between. Good luck! & g-d bless.

December 23, 2010 - 9:22am
EmpowHER Guest

Hi Christine,

I appreciate your response... hope to stay in touch.

December 21, 2010 - 11:44am

Hi Pat,

I appreciate your response. I went to that link. & to be completly honest, 99 percent of what I read doesnt apply at all to my situation. But thank you.

December 14, 2010 - 8:53pm
(reply to stephaniek)

Hi Stephaniek,
I apologize, I'm not completely clear on the situation from your post, so forgive me if I'm asking things you already answered. What do you think is going on with him? Are you and your husband sexually incompatible, or is something else going on?
How does he feel about the fact you haven't been sexually intimate for more than 6 months? Do you have children? Would he consider going to a marital counselor with you if you asked?
And finally, where are you in this situation? He may think there's no problem, but obviously it is for you. What does he say to that? Would you consider going to counseling on your own to deal with how this no doubt has affected you?
You know you can't change him, but you can work on improving your marriage. I'm glad you have a good relationship besides for the sex. But sexless marriage is a tough thing.
Let us know what you think, and how we may be able to better help you to work this through. There also are women in EmpowHER's ASK community who are experiencing situations similar to yours. You definitely are not alone.

December 16, 2010 - 8:36am
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