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I am with my husband for 7 years now. Married for 4. we haven't had sex in 6.5 months. I stopped broaching the topic, because the converation goes nowhere. He is still very affectionate towards me & He's very cuddly & warm to me. But,. when ever I try to physically initate anthing other then a kiss or hug, he says not now babe. I am at a real loss what to do. We have a really good relationship other then this.. I asked him if he can't talk me about this, If we can go talk someone. & hes like there is no problem. I love you, I want you, etc.
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Hi Christine,
We are very sexually compatible.Our sex life was unbeliveable. We are very nsync. I really am a loss as to what is going on with him. Our sex life was great for years...& this came from complete left field...
We dont have children. He has a daughter from a prior relationship. He won't go talk to someone . He says there is no reason at all for that. He loves me etc.. When I say I feel like you don't want me & don't like me. H e professes his love to me...& gives me sad puppy eyes. Because we have a very strong bond & feels that I'm insulting him, when I express myself about this. I have thought of going on my own. However most counslers or therapist do like to talk with both parties. & he refuses... because he is adamant that there is no problem, & he keeps on saying that he believes that I think sex is evertyhing. I completly disagree. When you remove that from the whole picture it makes me think all sorts of things. I feel rejected, undesired sexually, etc.
I love him deeply, But I wouldnt cheat & I am not goingto stay in a sexless marrige. Most people have a point where they go through dy spell, or what have you. So I am just trying to decide- if I should leave now,,, I love him a lot- he's my everthing. But I'm a strong women, with or without him. But I really want him in my life.
December 19, 2010 - 4:29pmThis Comment
Hi Stephaniek,
December 20, 2010 - 7:39amAgain, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I definitely think that meeting with a counselor for yourself will be a good thing. No doubt this drought in sex has had an effect on you. I know it is hard to accept that you can't change your husband, and if he's not willing to go see a doctor, or go visit with a counselor, or thinks there's nothing wrong and it's completely normal to go 6.5 mo. without sex, there's not much you can do about it. You have to be true to yourself. I'm glad you sound self-assured enough that even though you love him, you know that you will be ok with or without him. It's possible it may all work out with him, but until you make steps to improve the situation for yourself on your own, I personally don't see things changing for better or worse. A counselor can help you figure out what you need and how to proceed. We also are here to inspire and support you--let us know how we may be able to help.
Good luck, I know it won't be easy no matter what happens.
-Christine
This Comment
wow, I have the same exact situation. My fiance and I have been together for over 2 yrs. now. Up until about 5-6 months ago he could not get enough of me. He says I am his dream girl his playboy bunny, that he doesnt want anyone else. It is really hard to feel attractive, or wanted when it went to zero. I mean from one extream to the other. There was no diminishing here. I miss the want he used to have for me more than anything. He says it's still there and if I would leave it alone it will come back. It's just that he is stressed out and tired from work a lot. My contention is these things were all there before and it helped relieve his stress if anything. I really don't bring it up but every 2 months when nothing changes and I cant take it anymore. He always says the same thing. I wish I could get some good advise or statistic on how many of these relationships that this happens to really get back to the old way or close!!
December 22, 2010 - 2:13pmThis Comment
Anon - You may find it helpful to read what some of our male readers have said about this topic: https://www.empowher.com/sex-amp-relationships/content/best-responses-men-why-wont-he-have-sex-me
December 14, 2010 - 5:46pmThis Comment