Facebook Pixel

Why does my Husband jerk off while im home, and lie about it?

By September 29, 2010 - 8:22am
Rate This

Actually, I caught him my first time, and he lied about everything. he confessed, said sorry, but, i hear him all the time, espcially in the mornings. He moans, but he denies it. When he could be taking his horny self out on me. I love sex, and i crave it, so i dont see why he is wanting to jerk off, when he has me.
Hes absolutly Lazy! Usually after work, he comes home, and we eat dinner, then usually watch a movie. usually we rent them, but he always falls asleep, we use to sit together on the couch, but he lays down in the other one and just passes out.

If were laying in bed, and im messing with him to get him aroused, he just lays there. I litterally have to ask for sex, cuz if i dont have sex with him, he goes to option b, bathroom to jerk off. I guess hes just too lazy. Im just at a point too give up. its like hes no longer into me. The sad thing is, Ive lost 60pounds sense i had my son. (i have two kids) ive had all this weight on me sense me and him started dating. actually i was 2 months pregnant, so not quite as much weight put on me. but ive lost it all. and sadly, no affection...
If we do have sex, its graved in my mind that, i, have to be on top. If hes horny, and we mess around (which is rare) ill try getting him on top, but of course hes strong and gets me on top, then im stuck there, he dont want to do new sex moves, nothing. Just that one move the entire time. I ask him to switch it up, and he says, next time, but he says next time every time i ask. so then again, im stuck on top. Hes just too lazy to do anything, I dont have a clue waht too do...
Alot of people would say join him. but its kinda hard, when he locks himself in the bathroom, and denies it, so he pretty much kicks me to the side, as though im nothing. What should i Do???

Add a Comment78 Comments

EmpowHER Guest

I'm so hurt right now. It's not the masturbation but the lies. Fml

October 18, 2017 - 6:16am
(reply to Anonymous)

I know exactly how you feel. It's the deceit of the lies and the deception that hurts even more than the actual act. We're supposed to be partners that have no need to lie to each especially other over anybody else. I feel we're not on the same team anymore now.

October 20, 2017 - 10:56am
EmpowHER Guest

Tell your husband to send that over here!! Lmao nah he probably has issues with sexuality , first time I herd of a guy denying a horny wife.

October 15, 2017 - 12:41am
EmpowHER Guest

Take it from me.. im a guy that jerks off when im in a relationship. I dont lie if i get caught tho. Here are 3 main reasons a guy would rather do it himself..

a: you dont do it for him.. this could mean you suck at sex... could mean you dont make it hard.. or any combination of the 2.

B : you turn him on but you make it too much work... maybe its too much of a routine where he has to hold and cuddle and rub your back and act like he accidentally touched you there.. then it takes 45 minutes to even get it wet but he has 7 minutes to get ready fir work.. this over time becomes a turn off. The sex may be great... but yiu have to make it ok to just roll over and start poking you if hes up for a quick morning nut.

C: this is common as well.. you dont cum fast or he has to do something special to make u cum. Again in the morning he just wants to blow and go. Maybe hes uncomfortable with pounding one out from behind you and leaving you un satisfied.

Those the 3 reasons i personally would take care of it myself rather than try to have sex. Too much work. No sex skills. Just in a hurry and dont want to involve the time it takes to do you right.

June 10, 2017 - 7:12am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Just lol. From a girl who is on her side. He jerks and denies it. I love sex. Bjs. Oral. I always try to change it up so it's not boring. But still .....
I try. He doesn't. Simple as that. Because of that... feelings change ...

June 14, 2017 - 11:25am
EmpowHER Guest

take the bathroom door off that's exactly what I did (Hahaha) & now I can see & hear everything ( of course he was mad as HELL....but eventually he got over it

April 17, 2017 - 3:20am
EmpowHER Guest

I have a similar problem.... Kind of.... My fiancé keeps trying to get me to have sex for the past month and I just havent wanted to. My health has taken a serious turn and I feel so fatigued during the day that I have to lay down during the day. I cry a lot because I feel useless and im always in pain. My back hurts so bad that I can't stand for longer than 5mins. It even hurts when we are intimate and I bleed quite a bit after. He gets mad when I refuse him and acts like when I refuse him, its an excuse to go jerk off. I feel stupid because I thought he wouldn't jerk off because I already expressed to him how awful it makes me feel when he jerks off to porn. It makes me feel like im not enough for him. I thought that since im sick that he would just wait until im better but this morning I was washing my bedding and found his clothing hidden under the bed that Hes been jerking off into. I pulled it out and left it out so he knows that I know. He didn't say anything. Just started cleaning everything.... Why does he jerk off every time I turn around??? I feel so horrible.... Then I feel horrible about feeling horrible. :*(

April 5, 2017 - 11:30am
EmpowHER Guest

It looks like a classic example of sexual addiction. Now you are wondering how it can be sexual addiction when he is refusing sex with you. Well, that is what sex addicts do. Please google websites about sex addiction. Additionally, you might find a stack of porn magazines, porn websites and other pornographic material on his computer. Sex addiction is a serious problem and needs to be addressed most seriously so please research the topic thorougly and see if you are dealing with it. Good luck.

January 2, 2017 - 11:19am
EmpowHER Guest

I masterbate a lot and have a high sex drive so does my wife hers is higher than mine actually but she is always angry and that pushes me away more than anything. When she is in a good mood for a day or two we have lots of sex and even do taboo things at the spur of the moment, but the minute she gets mad or throws a fit we don't have sex for a week or two and I start masterbateing whenever I get the chance. So my advice would be maybe try staying in a good mood and do some erotic stuff for him like oral sex or something you would normally deny him and see if things change. Just my two cents hope it works out for you two sexual satisfaction is very important in a marriage

November 13, 2016 - 7:51pm
EmpowHER Guest

I just feel mad like really im right here let me set up the scence let me say what you want to hear im more than willing to play the part he needs and wants i just feel rejected when he does that it make me feel like he dont need me

October 17, 2016 - 8:31am
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sex & Relationships

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Sex & Relationships Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!