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Why does my Husband jerk off while im home, and lie about it?

By September 29, 2010 - 8:22am
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Actually, I caught him my first time, and he lied about everything. he confessed, said sorry, but, i hear him all the time, espcially in the mornings. He moans, but he denies it. When he could be taking his horny self out on me. I love sex, and i crave it, so i dont see why he is wanting to jerk off, when he has me.
Hes absolutly Lazy! Usually after work, he comes home, and we eat dinner, then usually watch a movie. usually we rent them, but he always falls asleep, we use to sit together on the couch, but he lays down in the other one and just passes out.

If were laying in bed, and im messing with him to get him aroused, he just lays there. I litterally have to ask for sex, cuz if i dont have sex with him, he goes to option b, bathroom to jerk off. I guess hes just too lazy. Im just at a point too give up. its like hes no longer into me. The sad thing is, Ive lost 60pounds sense i had my son. (i have two kids) ive had all this weight on me sense me and him started dating. actually i was 2 months pregnant, so not quite as much weight put on me. but ive lost it all. and sadly, no affection...
If we do have sex, its graved in my mind that, i, have to be on top. If hes horny, and we mess around (which is rare) ill try getting him on top, but of course hes strong and gets me on top, then im stuck there, he dont want to do new sex moves, nothing. Just that one move the entire time. I ask him to switch it up, and he says, next time, but he says next time every time i ask. so then again, im stuck on top. Hes just too lazy to do anything, I dont have a clue waht too do...
Alot of people would say join him. but its kinda hard, when he locks himself in the bathroom, and denies it, so he pretty much kicks me to the side, as though im nothing. What should i Do???

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EmpowHER Guest

I feel sorry for you seriously. Because I'm in the same boat with my dude. He has been lying to me the past year about ever masterbating now when I cought him this morning says he's "hyper sexual"? If he is being so ugly to me like this when I'm right next to him in another room then something is very wrong and I think it's time for me to move on

July 6, 2018 - 7:34am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

It’s been a year I find out, I asked to go to church with me in the morning but instead when I left he jerked off. I walked back in the room to get my phone and could hear him watching porn. I am so confused now, I do not trust him anymore and everytime he is alone I am sure she does it. Underwear are dirty with sperm stains everywhere. Do not know what to do, I asked him to talk to me and be open, he calls me I am crazy and become very defensive blaming me I am making a big deal in order to leave a marriage.

September 13, 2018 - 10:54am
EmpowHER Guest

I'm so hurt right now. It's not the masturbation but the lies. Fml

October 18, 2017 - 6:16am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Your so pretty it's his loss

June 22, 2018 - 4:42pm
(reply to Anonymous)

I know exactly how you feel. It's the deceit of the lies and the deception that hurts even more than the actual act. We're supposed to be partners that have no need to lie to each especially other over anybody else. I feel we're not on the same team anymore now.

October 20, 2017 - 10:56am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Laura901)

My Man takes his phone to the bathroom constantly... drives me to tears sometimes and I hate how he never cares how I feel... he tells me he is just playing games but it’s so hard to believe today he even left stuff cooking on the stove if I didn’t realize it cause of course he said nothing it could have been really bad... I really don’t know how to just get over this, it’s really killing me inside and what you said completely is how I feel

March 25, 2019 - 2:28am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Same here. I cry several times every day for the past two years. The first three years were amazing and I think that's what gives me hope, how he used to be.

Then the discovery 2 years ago, things seemed "off". He was different. Excessive masturbation, porn, even holes cut in the mouths of magazine ads of a woman instead of me, his wife that he tried to get to be with him for years. I kept turning him down. I just wasn't into him. Then we need up becoming best friends for a few years and one day I fell for him. He cried and told everyone and it was amazing for 3 years. Now he's done a total switch, the lies are totally insane and he looks me right in the eyes and lies all the time. I do believe he loves me even though it's hard to understand how you can love someone and know u are destroying them daily and u just ignore it and keep doing it. We used to have amazing sex and he was always focused on pleasuring me to. Now it doesn't even cross his mind unless I complain about it. The sex is becoming less and less and now I just can't get into it knowing he has broken his vows from the beginning and he'd rather have his hand than me. When we do it he rarely finishes normally. It either won't stay hard, or he can't come and blames being overheated. or his new thing is faking an orgasm. When he does cum its very, very little. His newest thing is fake sleeping on me so I will go make my coffee or get in the shower and he has a few minutes to himself.

He denies all of this and even tried to get me to believe I was crazy and needed help and I started to believe it. We'll fight he'll bring home flowers and thinks that's going to fix everything and things are good but never for more that 15 hours then he's that other person I don't know or like. He has two people in him which seems so hard to understand. I can tell a few hours before we go to bed that I'm either going to have a good night or a bad one by the way his demeanor is. He doesn't even have to say anything, it's just the way he looks. I can feel it.

I hardly sleep anymore and spend the majority of the night awake crying and telling him how I feel and what it's doing to me even though he is pretending to sleep by exaggerating his snoring and noises. Its so obvious that I'm embarrassed for his awful acting skills. If I try to talk to him about any of this he just gets angry and says he's sick of me accusing him of stuff he doesn't due and I'm ruining our marriage. When all I want is for him to love me right, be honest and faithful.

I have no self-esteem anymore and can't even change ifo him. My heart is in physical pain all the time and I'm lost and shocked.

August 21, 2020 - 11:49am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

this is exactly how it is for me and im lost at what to do. if you have any advice please let me know because i dont want to leave but i hurt all the time.

September 6, 2020 - 4:38am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

He’s a narcissist my the same way

March 17, 2020 - 5:06am
(reply to Laura901)

You've got to be joking!

May 2, 2018 - 12:55pm
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