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Actually, I caught him my first time, and he lied about everything. he confessed, said sorry, but, i hear him all the time, espcially in the mornings. He moans, but he denies it. When he could be taking his horny self out on me. I love sex, and i crave it, so i dont see why he is wanting to jerk off, when he has me.
Hes absolutly Lazy! Usually after work, he comes home, and we eat dinner, then usually watch a movie. usually we rent them, but he always falls asleep, we use to sit together on the couch, but he lays down in the other one and just passes out.
If we do have sex, its graved in my mind that, i, have to be on top. If hes horny, and we mess around (which is rare) ill try getting him on top, but of course hes strong and gets me on top, then im stuck there, he dont want to do new sex moves, nothing. Just that one move the entire time. I ask him to switch it up, and he says, next time, but he says next time every time i ask. so then again, im stuck on top. Hes just too lazy to do anything, I dont have a clue waht too do...
Alot of people would say join him. but its kinda hard, when he locks himself in the bathroom, and denies it, so he pretty much kicks me to the side, as though im nothing. What should i Do???
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Thank you Faith, for understanding. It helps when someone understands my feelings too. You make a lot of sense to me and you helped me a lot. Now I'll try and think of a way he can make it up to me... :)
April 1, 2016 - 8:01pmThis Comment
Awesome!! I'm glad you can see some light at the end of the tunnel! You deserve the best, so ask for something really good! haha ;-)
April 3, 2016 - 11:18pmFaith
This Comment
I can do you one better. I have been married 47 years and just recently found out he has been masturbating our entire married life. If we had had a great sex lift and everything was fine maybe I could let it pass. But thinking back there were many years he showed not interest including from 2002 to 2015 where I got no sexual contact at all. He is a techniphobe so there was no on line pornography just his imagination and fantasies he said. Well, to me creating your own pornography in your brain is worse that just getting it electronically. I just found he one of his fantasies was a very, very good friend of our for over 20 years. We say this couple two or three times a week and went on little vacations with them. The thought that he may have been masturbating (meaning having sex with her in his images) is to say the least disturbing. In fact I really don't think I'll get over this one. I am sick to death of reading how this is all so normal when men hide it and than lie about it. You don't do that with "normal" behavior. We women have been sold a bill of goods on this issue. If I wasn't this old I would definitely be out the door. But because of medical needs and lack of the tremendous amount of finances necessary to live on my own I guess it is time to use him for my needed purpose. Hey I was chief cook and bottle washer for all those years and did a damn good job of it. I share you pain. Believe me he won't change. Make a wise choice going forward
February 13, 2016 - 11:24amThis Comment
I'm so sorry to hear about your trouble. That is so deceitful to fantasize about a friend of yours and deny you sex for years. I don't know what I would do if my husband thought of a "real" person that he could have access to while he masturbated. You must feel so stuck in the marriage. I know that feeling because that is my situation too. Sometimes I just want to hurt my husband the way he hurt me but although it would make me feel better on some level, it wouldn't be a good thing for me (or him) in the end. And I don think there's much I could do that he would care enough about that would make hm upset or feel betrayed... Unless I cheated on him but I won't do that.
February 14, 2016 - 1:41amThis Comment
Too many excuses for these sexually obsessed creatures. Find a hot man and just do it, make yourself happy and let him jerk off!
March 18, 2017 - 4:48pmThis Comment
I know the feeling but they don't hurt in that way. Men just don't seem to be wired that way. And I hate to say this but I think all men think of a "real" person they have met or know on occasion and play out their fantasy. Maybe it is someone the wife also knows and maybe not. My husband said it was often an actress from the movies or TV. Unfortunately that has now caused me to look at every attractive actress we wee while watching something and wonder if she is the type he would "save for later". I also review our past 35 years of tennis associations and trips and wonder who he was fantasizing about and when he might have enjoyed himself with her. I just find it so odd that women are OK with all this and it doesn't bother them. Maybe they just don't think about their guy having sex in their minds or maybe they don't think about it at all. If I had really known this is the way it had to be it certainly would have been a marriage dealbreaker. I didn't need to get married and could have been quite content to be on my own. I killed myself our whole married life trying to be the perfect wife. Maintaining my looks (I was a model when we met) being a wonderful cook, home maker, did all the financials for the family and worked too. Just too old to start over now. Don't know if it will get any easier because these revelations are fresh in my mind by just a few months.
February 15, 2016 - 6:41amThis Comment
There were some typo's in my story, but hopefully you can figure them out and get the gist of the problem anyway. Sorry about that!
July 7, 2015 - 11:29pmThis Comment
My husband of 23 years just admitted to me that he's been masturbating for the entire length of our relationship (30 yrs in total). Given the fact that we met as teens, I'm not surprised by his masturbatng in the " eat years). But once we got married at age 24 and 26, I assumed the need for masturbation was gone. He told me that he is doing it much less often now than he did in his 20's and 30's but I feel totally devastated that for at least 20 yrs of our lives he's been jerking off secret and lying to me whenever unasked about it. I am a very sexual woman who would have sex 7 days a week if my husband was up to it, but of course he's not. I can't help but wonder how many times he's turned me down because he already pleasure himself! In 30 yrs I never once said no to him when it came to any kind of sex. I'm open for anything, I do it all... And the most hurtful part is that he knows it's a turn on for me to watch him masturbate! I wont even have to participate if he doesn't want me to, I can take care of myself while he takes care of himself. I even get turned on watching porn together, which is something we don't do often because I think he's shy or embarrassed to tell me exactly what about it turns him on. I'm a very jealous person so it would be beneficial to both of us if he would just be honest with me instead of leaving things to my imagination. Not knowing makes me angry and I think a woman sitting on a bed can turn him on before any aex even happens on screen. It's the betrayal, it's the lies and it's the feeling of inadequacy and feeling he's not attracted to me that hurts the most. Please help me find a way to not be so consumed by this and secretly hating my husband, although he doesn't know it. Whenever I ask him questions about it he just gives me answers that he thinks I want to hear, not the 100% truth and that hurts too. It makes my own mind fill in the blanks and my imagination of how it went down for him is probably worse than the reality. Our marriage was so great,we were strong partners, he was my rock of Gibraltar,my love, my life and our friends and family admire how loving and strong our relationship still is even after 23 yrs of marriage. I still look forward to him coming home from work, sitting next to me while we watch tv, I admire his mind, he's smart and funny. But I'm losing some of that now. I feel like I may be allowing this to destroy me and our lives together. How could he deceive me for so long and why? Does anyone have any advice that can offer me. I would appreciate anything, I need help. :(
July 7, 2015 - 11:21pmThis Comment
Wow. What a wife you would be. I only masturbate as a last resort of my wife is unwilling to have sex with me or if I want something she is not prepared to do. Since she says yes one a month, and only vanilla one position, penis in bagina sex, I am jerking off nearly everyday. My dream would be for us to be having sex, or mutual masturbation or anything sexual, only for me if she doesn't want to but that's out of the question. Missionary sex without foreplay is all that is allowed and sometimes I couldn't be bothered with that boring rule.
My wife doesn't particularly care that I do it, but sometimes she says something about me preferring to fantasize about other women or porn. The irony is, I don't watch porn and most of the time when I masturbate I fantasize a lot my wife. Usually about her doing something completely "outrageous" like oral (on me or her) or 69 etc.
December 3, 2015 - 10:01pmIt's sad.
#foreveralone
This Comment
Hi forever alone, I don't know if u were responding to my post about my husband lying to me for 30 years about his masturbation but I'm sorry to hear your wife is so restrictive in her sexual practices. That sucks for you as a husband. I am quite the opposite. I will do anything and everything my husband desires in bed. That's what makes me feel undesired by him. I mean whatever he wants I'll do it and as a result of my attitude we've done practically everything there is to do! Even watching porn turns me on so why can't we do it together? Maybe there is some component of masturbating alone that attracts people but then don't lie about it. My husband should explain it to me and help me understand so I don't feel so insecure knowing he masturbates and lies about it. I want to find something to turn me on to do the same for me...
February 16, 2016 - 8:01pmThis Comment