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why doesnt my boyfriend want to have sex with me?

By Anonymous April 17, 2010 - 12:37am
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My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, he has been my only boyfriend and the only person I have been sexual with. I love him to death but about 8 months ago our sex life has had its ups and downs. At the beggining we would have sex some times up to 3 times in one night, even when I didnt want to I would do it not to hurt his ego. As the relationship progressed the sex started to be less and less. I have always tried to keep him interested since day one since I know that men get bored easily and since he admitted that the reason his last relationship didnt work was because they stopped havving sex. Therefore, since the beggining i would send him kinky text msg, researched sex positions, wore lingerie, brought in porn movies and toys. When I initiate sex we have it and I enjoy it and so does he, but he just wont initiate anything. Its been well over six moonths that he does not initiate sex and I feel unnapriciated, unsexy. I dont feel like a woman anymore, I have began wanting to see other men but i love him so much i cant leave him or cheat.

I have to admit the relationship has all the signs that hes bored of me, but everytime i break down and talk about it he tells me he koves me that nothing is wrong. Sometimes his distand and cold, sometimes his loving. I used to get flowers every week its been six months since i last received flowers. we have broken up for this and we get back together. I think his love for me has ended that he is just used to me. he denies it. someone plz help

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EmpowHER Guest

Hi Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that your relationship has gone sour. The key to all relationships is communication. You must let him know how you are feeling and not that he has to agree with you, but at least understand and try to help work through what you are feeling. No one likes to feel unwanted in a relationship.

Since you have tried to talk to him in the past about this situation and you are not satisfied, try again. Explain to him that you feel as if he is brushing you off and that this is very important to you. I am certain that if he had something important to talk about to you, he would try and try again to get your attention about the matter.

Thinking from a different prospective, many people like to be the submissive one in a relationship. He may be turned on by the fact that you always initiate sex. You have become the pursuer in the relationship by trying hard not to lose his interest, right? Explain this to him. If he loves you, he will listen and try to make you happy.

All relationships get comfortable over time. If he is no longer purchasing flowers for you, don't take it personally. Think of it this way, he no longer feels the need to 'woo' you. Relationships are not easy and can take the back road at times. The most important thing to try and keep the love alive is to have two people that are trying to keep the relationship alive. With that said, two people must be willing to give 100% at all times. This is impossible, we all have “one of those days”. If “one of those days” becomes months, then intervention is needed and this is where understanding and communication must be 110% on both ends.

Remember if he is uninterested in working on your relationship, you may have to make a decision that is life changing. No one wants to be unhappy in a relationship but remember that all relationships will have their ups and downs so be open minded.

I hope this helps and I hope he will try to communicate with you. Here is a post that is always ongoing with EmpowHer that may interest you in what other people have tried in their relationships. Believe me when I say your not alone. Good luck and keep us posted https://www.empowher.com/search/google?cx=001740413268797642882%3Axdyajny4mzk&cof=FORID%3A11&query=boyfriend+and+no+sex&op=GO&form_build_id=form-128d4ac7d3134fa7258b7993d4049237&form_token=6b7c4b6ed1091170207588820c18f8c8&form_id=google_cse_searchbox_form#1098.

April 18, 2010 - 6:01am
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