Today in my Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) class, my teacher talked about how excessive sexual activities can deplete the vital life force and cause premature aging. This may manifest in symptoms such as soreness and weakness of the lower back and knee joints, premature ejaculation in men and, clear, cold leukorrhea (vaginal discharge) in women.
“So how much sex is too much? And how much is too little?” a classmate asked. The room got quiet all of the sudden, and all of our eyes lit up, eager for an answer. Obviously this was a subject that everyone was curious about.
“Well, what’s the right amount depends on what stage of your lifecycle you’re in,” my teacher responded with a grin. “When you’re younger and you have abundant sexual energy, you can have a more active sex life. When you get older your sexual essence (estrogen or testosterone) begins to decline, and naturally your sex life slows down as well.”
Below is a general guideline, according to TCM. Of course, what is right for each person is highly individual, depending on your health, vitality and life situations.
Before age 30 – Per TCM, a woman’s sexual essence peaks at age 28, and a man’s peaks at age 32. At the prime of your sexual energy, you can have sex everyday without depleting your life force
Between 30 and 35 – After you pass your sexual peak, the optimal amount may be 2-3 times a week.
Between 35 and 42 – Women’s sexual essence begins to decline at age 35, and men’s begins at age 42. At this stage of your life cycle, 1-2 times a week may be considered optimal.
After 42 – At this stage many women begin to have menopause. Your sexual essence is in further decline and is eventually exhausted. At this stage, having sex once a week or every other week may be considered optimal.
I recall seeing a poll from the Cosmopolitan Magazine that most American couples have sex once a week on the weekends. This may be our popular norm of what’s normal.
How much is enough? This is a really interesting question. What’s the right amount for you?