While writing about intimacy and developing our recipe for enjoying sex after 40, my team came across a study seeking to understand what people consider to be Great Sex. That is, when we talk about Great Sex, what are we talking about?
In the study, authors Peggy J. Kleinplatz, A. Dana Menard, Marie-Pierre Paquet, Nicolas Paradis, Meghan Campbell, Dino Zuccarino, and Lisa Mehak, interviewed 44 people who self-identified as people who have Great Sex, and 20 sex therapists, folks who help guide people toward at least adequate sex.
The resulting paper is entitled “The Components of Optimal Sexuality: A Portrait of `Great Sex,’” and was published a few years ago in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality.
The paper itself is a really interesting read, but boiling it down to stock, there are eight components of Great Sex the researchers identified:
• Being present
• Deep sexual and erotic intimacy
• Extraordinary communication
• Exploration, risk-taking
What a list! We’ve made an effort to explore and consider each of these components in our exploration of sexuality for older women. But what do you think about this list? Is it complete? Does this list spell Great Sex for you? Does sex always have to be Great to be worthwhile? What attributes must be there for sex to be Adequate? Please feel free to embellish, add to, or subtract from this list. Argue any points. Suggest different language. Would we modify the list if it were Great Sex for Women after 40? for Women after 60? What do you think?