Gina describes how she felt while suffering with depression in silence due to an undiagnosed estrogen dominance condition.
It’s awful, it’s awful because you suffer so much inside, that on the outside I think you make it look like everything is great. And then that’s where everybody is just blown away. They can’t believe that you had a problem. Even the doctors I think sometimes, because they’d see me coming, and then like, “Oh hi, how are you?” You know, and I felt like I had to be nice to all of them and the receptionist, and so they didn’t take me seriously because I had this fake exterior. And I wasn’t believable, but I was just dying inside.
It was great that my husband and, I mean, I feel for him that he, I am remarried so, I guess I left that part out, but he has suffered with depression his whole life. And so he was there through a lot of it, and he understood. He said, “You don’t have to suffer silently.” He could tell. I’d get in this fetal position in bed, and only he would notice it and things like that, that unless you had suffered yourself, you don’t notice.
It’s scary because, again, you feel embarrassed. You feel like nobody is going to believe you, or “What’s your problem? You’ve got a great life. You have two beautiful children. Everybody in your life is healthy.” You know, and you feel like, you see people that have cancer, and how dare me? How dare me? Just feel like I want to take my life and they are going through this agonizing chemotherapy treatment, and that makes it worse because you feel guilty.
It’s just horrible because, like I said, it’s all here, and so you can’t move away from it. It’s awful, but . . . . So I try now to help others if I see them going that way, or I wish I could help my mom now, but it’s too late.
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