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Relationship expert Jason Fierstein shares two secrets to help a woman communicate much better with her partner.
Jason Fierstein:
The one secret that I would tell women to understand is that to not criticize men. I think I hear this a lot from men that they feel criticized or they feel like they can’t win in their marriage or relationship.
For guys, winning has to do with a lot. We grew up on the little league field always in competition and wanting to win and I think a lot of guys don’t experience that same sense of victory in their relationship. So, it’s very important that women can communicate to them how much they appreciate their guy, validate them, tell them how good of a job they are doing as a boyfriend or a husband or a father. So, I think that’s one secret that women could benefit from in terms of relating or communicating more about what they want.
I think the second and equally important thing, a secret for women to know is to communicate exactly what you want because men and women can’t read each other’s minds. So communicating clearly, being in touch with what do you want, how do you want it and be very succinct with men will help them to understand what it is that you’re wanting from them in a more clear and concise way. Those are the two most important things that women can do to open up better communication with their partner.
About Jason Fierstein, M.A., L.P.C.:
I am a State of Arizona board-licensed professional counselor practicing in Phoenix. My master’s degree is in psychology, with a counseling emphasis, and I have a post-graduate certification in Gestalt Therapy. I have been counseling a variety of different clients for nine years, and have been practicing privately for five.
Visit Jason Fierstein at his website
Add a Comment1 Comments
1. No one likes to be criticized. And both parties like to win. Appreciating, validating, etc. goes both ways ... if a man wants such, he needs to give such. If a man is stomping on something precious to a woman, she's told him CLEARLY that it must change and he continues to do it, he's rightly earned criticism. A relationship where your partner can't successfully ask you specific harmful actions and what will correct them is crap. No ego - or relationship - is worth that.
September 2, 2010 - 4:35pm2. Communicating clearly is a two-way street. There are still more than enough men who, when you tell them exactly what you want, will blow you off, tell you you're demanding, avoid, use passive-aggression, or otherwise purposely undermine your clarity. Why? As one guy says it 'just because I'm a guy and I can'. Understandably, he's single.
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