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We all know what it is but sometimes we get so distracted by tiny details that we forget... okay, let me back track.... She walks into the room. Heads turn. Not only do they turn, but they stay turned, eyes transfixed. She's not a celebrity and maybe doesn't even have a perfect this or that; but it's something else, something intangible. She, in the old fashioned sense of the term, simply stops traffic, even if its only for a few moments.
In getting caught up with images of whose cellulite is more noticeable as we stand in the check out line of the supermarket grazing the trash mags, we forget a simple truth... that the whole really is more than the sum of its parts and we should remember impact; how someone's "stuff" can stop us in our tracks, no matter what their weight, age, hair color or income.
1) LOVE : When a woman feels love - whether she is IN LOVE, loving her child, loving life, or just loving the moment, laughing with friends, or loving what she is doing, she exudes a kind of mesmerizing glow.... love is powerful and seeing a woman in a love-state is traffic stopping.
2) CONFIDENCE: I know it's cliche. But there's a big difference between the trumped-up fakery and narcissism of people begging for attention today and real, deep, authentic confidence. Confident women are not actually prone to brag and boast; they don't need to shove their accomplishments, beauty or labels in anyone's face. Confidence is a kind of genuine self-love, born of real obstacles overcome, real appreciation of one's existence. It's magnetic and, yes, traffic stopping.
3) HUMOR: A woman who can laugh is charismatic. Lightening up the mood is relaxing, so for a woman who is easily able to tap into this lightness of being, it is a joy not only to watch her and be with her, but to listen to her as well. Laughter is contagious, time altering, health promoting and allows us to step out of the ordinary into something magical.
4) TOUCH: Women with a healing touch are traffic stopping because we all want and need this genuine, nurturing feeling. Even if its just a light touch on someone's shoulder, a good, friendly gesture like this can instantly bring warmth and openness to a situation or social interaction. In terms of flirting, it can stir pots of imagination and longing.
5) EYE CONTACT: Along with confidence, humor, touch and love comes eye contact. A slow, intense gaze can burn for hours in the retinas of whomever may be on the other end. People feel truly seen, truly connected when eye contact is comfortable and lasts for a few moments. Staring is not the point; making a connection and showing that you feel whole and comfortable with yourself gives another person permission to let their guard down a bit, and to want to look into your eyes even longer next time...
6) LISTENING: Listening is a powerful skill. So many of us want to listen in order to get to "our turn" to talk. Rather than maintaining your own agenda at any cost, throwing away what you may have wanted to say just to take in another is traffic stopping. It creates a calm, almost hypnotic environment for the person being listened to; a way of becoming a beacon, a homecoming.
7) WALKING WITH RHYTHM: You don't have to be a supermodel to "work" your walk. Just enjoying the motion of your legs, hips and back end as you walk can make you a traffic stopper at any age. Listening to the music of your mind, keeping a rhythm as you go can come across as extremely hot... whew.... pull over!
8) CLEAN IS HOT: Being clean - meaning, teeth brushed, hair clean and brushed and clothes clean, means more when it comes to stopping traffic than having the most expensive wardrobe and the best hairdo. Clean is an evolutionary cue about sexuality - while we may want to "get dirty" with someone, what we actually look for based on our genetic desire for health and longevity, is an appearance of cleanliness and lustrousness.
9) RICH MIND: The blonde bombshell who giggles and misspells 'OFF' is cute and that's definitely a turn-on; but the real traffic stoppers are the ones with rich minds; who know how to vary their routine; who can read and write and, yes, rithmatic, too...
10) EXPERIENCE YOURSELF: Finally, there is an unutterably traffic-stopping quality about a woman who walks into a room and seems to ooze knowledge of herself, both carnal and otherwise. You can imagine she knows exactly how she ticks and why. It makes you want to idle and find out.
Aimee Boyle writes regularly for EmpowHer on sexuality and muscles. She also freelances for eHow and Demand Studios, as well as working on fiction and various other freelance projects. She lives in Southern CT with her family.
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