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Six Tips for Managing Resistance

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Did you ever notice how the anxiety about doing something is always worse than the actual event? We spend so much time worrying about things, most of which are completely beyond our control. Imagine being able to harness all that energy and use it to move toward something positive.

Anxiety and worry are forms of resistance and resistance tells us we are experiencing fear. There’s a saying, “What we resist persists.” It persists because we are focusing our attention and energy on the thing we don’t want to happen. The universe doesn’t hear negatives; it merely sends us a match to the thing we’re vibrating about the most. Wherever we focus our attention and energy, we will receive a vibrational match to that, whether it’s positive or negative.

Practically speaking, understanding this can take us a long way toward shifting our realities into more pleasant experiences. I’ve developed a process to help apply this concept into action.

1. Identify the fear behind the resistance.

Look at the situation clearly and logically from as many vantage points as possible. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen? How likely is that? And how would I move forward from there?”

2. Acknowledge what you can change and the things over which you have no control.

This step is critical to releasing the energy of resistance; we take on responsibilities that don’t belong to us while shirking our responsibilities to ourselves. Reversing that pattern enables you to stand in your power.

3. Enlist support for yourself.

We’re not meant to do this alone. Call on a friend or family member who can support you unconditionally or hire a coach or therapist.

4. Make a plan for moving forward and take authentic action, even if it’s baby steps.

Maybe you want to leave your partner but can’t figure out how to realistically do it. Figure out one thing you can do to make the situation more bearable in the meantime. Speak up for yourself, perhaps by insisting s/he take on more responsibility around the house.

5. Take time for yourself every single day.

You deserve at least an hour of alone time each day.

Add a Comment3 Comments

What a beautiful post, and such a great reminder! I especially like #'s 2 and 6. We all need help in our paths - help from our physical support systems and spiritual support systems. I find that when I'm resisting something it's usually something I don't want to look at...but I would benefit from examining and processing the block. Here's to a resistance free day!
- Anna M

July 22, 2009 - 8:17am
EmpowHER Guest

Thank you for posting this. What you said is so true "what we resist persist." I often ask myself that very thing when I am feeling fear or resistance holding me back from what I need or want to do..."What is the worse that can happen?" This always helps me to logically get a grip on what ever issues I am having surrounding the circumstance.

July 21, 2009 - 2:30pm

I have to thank you for this post. I often become very overwhelmed with situations I can not control, I sometimes have to just sit back, breathe, and remind myself of what is important. There really is no need for stress because it does not help you solve anything, it only makes things worse. I truly believe that positive energy and thinking is so important. The tips you suggested are great!

July 20, 2009 - 3:35pm
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.


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