When my husband and I finally got pregnant, I just could not wait to be a stay at home mom. Well, I was wrong! Don't get me wrong, I love not having to work and I love being a mom, but now I live hours away from anyone I knew or cared about before I met my husband. Since I live so far from any of my family or friends, I have litterally spent no more that a few hours away from my daughter since the day she came home. My husband just can not fathom how I get to sit at home all day and still get depressed. Every other day I just can not stand the sight of my 9 month old baby! It's a horrible feeling that just leaves me feeling worse about myself. And I know I can't tell anyone that I want to just get rid of her sometimes because everyone will look at me like I'm a horrible parent! I tried asking my doc to put me on some kind of med. but no such luck... oh well I guess I'll just go crazy in the mean time.
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Wow, I've never heard of the co-op daycare, but it's a great idea! I'd be more than willing to watch other kids in exchange for a day off. Thanks Susan
June 13, 2011 - 11:46amThis Comment
Thanks Rosa, you don't know how good it feels to have someone that actually understands how I feel! I will def. take things into consideration and maybe I can convince my husband to add a few days of daycare to our bills. Thank you!
June 13, 2011 - 10:56amThis Comment
Hi icyfireprincess,
I understand why you are depressed-- what human being wants to stay home all day, every day? It's hard to get your husband to understand that, however, because the way he sees it-- he's getting the short end of the stick because he's got to go out there and make the money to support his family. He sees the positive to you being at home.. you get to spend time with your baby, you don't have to go to work, etc. All nice things. In reality, you have the huge burden of tending to an infants every need, maintaining a clean house-- or as much as your baby will allow you to clean, and preparing meals for not only your 9 month old but yourself as well. Then when your husband is home, you have the added responsibility of being a wife. I've been in your shoes-- it's a terrible feeling, especially when you have no one to talk to.
You mention having days when you can't even stand the sight of your child which,to me, screams "I need a break--NOW" and believe it or not, if your 9 month old spends most of her time with you alone, she needs a break from you, too. One thing you can consider is taking your daughter to daycare twice a week (or every other day). You'll have to do your homework on this because I know some places charge on a weekly basis and some charge on a daily basis. This, however, will give you the opportunity to spend some time by yourself, take a nap, go out and enjoy the outdoors without having to push a stroller around, run errands, etc. AND it will give your baby the chance to interact with other children her age and learn.
Other things you can do on days that you do have your little one with you is to NOT waste the precious time that you have with her by keeping you both indoors. Go out. Whether its window shopping with your baby, walking around a park, investing in a baby gym membership, sightseeing, going to the zoo, etc. All of these places offer the chance to meet and interact with other parents which will open a whole new door for play dates for you and your baby.
I don't think you are a bad parent for feeling the way you do, just a parent who needs a break and definitely needs to get out of the house. If you feel like your feelings towards your daughter get progressively worse or that you are beginning to neglect your child, then I would advise to go back to your doctor to get some help.
All the best,
Rosa
June 13, 2011 - 10:21amThis Comment