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ask: High Sex Drive: Normal or Abnormal?

By Anonymous
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Is there really such thing as a sexual peak when you hit at a certain age? I have been pretty promiscuous since I was about 19 years old and I am now 32 years old and my sex drive becomes higher and higher every year. Is this normal?

I always hear men complain that their women do not like to have sex and within a group of my friends, there are only two of us that have high sex drives. Can someone clear the air about this subject?

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EmpowHER Guest

I am 27 yr female married to a great guy 10yrs my senior since 2006. Known my husband since 2005 after graduating high school. I have a very high sex drive. And have had affairs on and off since 2007 when his drive went down. I know it isn't right but I Cannot get enough sex and then I fell in love with a boyfriend (2007-2010) but ultimately stayed with Husband due to kids :-(

Now I met this guy (19yr) and he's amazing both in and out of bed and I want to know what people think. Is it crazy for me to Want out of this marriage where our libido just doesn't work? I also have pondered leaving just to be single and have all the fun I want or I have this friend (my age) who's wife is leaving him because their sexual preferences don't match. She wants a lot of sex but not with him and he wants sex with her more frequently plus some group sex which she told him he is crazy. I think me and him might be an awesome fit sexually but then I don't know if I like him enough to give up a great bf who makes me want to leave my husband. Any suggestions for me on This would be greatly appreciated

June 18, 2014 - 12:13pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

You need to hmu... So we can discuss this...

July 9, 2014 - 5:44pm
EmpowHER Guest

I am 24 years old i recently had a tubal ligation coagulation after having my fourth baby girl. it has been exactly a week and 2 days since my surgery and i am so emotional i can be happy and laughing one second then the next second crying and mad and ready to fight. i am also wanting sex all the time i can be fixing my hair and get excited and wet and want sex. im confused and frustrated because i dont know why this is happening to me i dont take any medicine at all so im not sure what it could be could someone please give me a little advice... thanks

May 22, 2014 - 1:44pm
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

You may be having a hormonal reaction to you tubal ligation or your your body is having an emotional response. It's a good idea to mention this to your doctor and see if something can be done to lessen this drive and ease your frustrations. A tubal is a relief for most women but there are also unexpected emotional responses that women aren't really told about. 



June 13, 2014 - 9:23am
EmpowHER Guest

Is there really such thing as a sexual peak when you hit at a certain age? I have been pretty promiscuous since I was about 19 years old and I am now 32 years old and my sex drive becomes higher and higher every year. Is this normal? It's like i want all the time. I don't want this to take over my life.

February 23, 2014 - 2:21pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anonymous, I am and have been in the same boat as you. I even went to an Endocrinologist for help to reduce my sex drive and he thought I was out of my mind and told me to be grateful!! I am 57 yrs old. I am also single and have been for a while. I have been this way my whole life (as young as early 20's) and it has never changed. I am not "dry" like some women. All I have to do is think about a man I like and I get "wet". Or for no reason at all I will just get the "urge". I know you know what I mean. I hope you don't have this issue when you get to be my age. I am just afraid once I find someone again I pray he doesn't have erection issues or his sex drive is much less than mine. Every year I think it will change, but it never does. I hope you are married to a wonderful man who can appreciate your sex drive. Oh and, ya, none of my female friends have any sex drive at all. They think I'm weird. They make me feel like I'm a pervert. But I'm not, I'm a normal woman who just loves sex and loves being with a man- meaning a husband.

June 8, 2014 - 11:04am
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon!

Your questions is a cut and paste of the original question - can you tell your story in your own words so we can help you more?



February 24, 2014 - 11:54am
EmpowHER Guest

I'm guessing this is usually for females but I'm hoping a male can get some friendly advice also. I am 26, my wife is 27 we've been married for 8 years now. when our relationship first started the sex was great and very often, sometimes twice or three times a day. over the years we have had five beautiful children and I know that lowers her desire but I did not know it would be to the point that I feel like I nearly beg to get any from her. I have a sex drive that I am not sure is normal because I can have sex with my wife in the morning before breakfast and by the time lunch is served I'm ready again and asking her. I get told no a lot as you can imagine. I don't want to get mad at her because its not her fault I just need to know if my drive is normal for my age? does hers sound normal for her age and circumstances? what can I do to help eleviate some of mine but boost hers a bit. I mean I took her to get a tattoo on her hip and just seeing her bare skin turned me on. what should I do?

January 1, 2014 - 11:54pm
EmpowHER Guest

I just turned 29, and had my third child about 7 months ago. For about the first year after having my first two babies, my sex drive was fairly low, but returned to normal over time. After my last baby, however, I completely lost my sex drive, until weeks ago when it seemed to come back stronger than ever. Thoughts of sex dominate my life lately. No matter how often my husband and I have sex, I am never satisfied. I have been doing things to satisfy this drive, like sex and video chat with men I find online. This is completely out of my character, but my sex drive is stronger than it has ever been. I need to know if this is normal or not. It effects my life in a negative way, and I do not feel normal. Do our hormones reset or have an awakening at my age, or is this not okay? Should I see a doctor?

July 7, 2013 - 1:08am
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon - thanks for your post! As we have said, there is nothing wrong with a high sex drive but you are essentially cheating on your husband in order to achieve sexual relief and this isn't ok, unless you husband is ok with it. You may eventually cross the line and meet someone in person, putting yourself or your family in danger. And remember that video chats can be recorded - your sex life with them can be plastered all over the internet. It's a good idea to talk to a doctor or therapist about how to feel better about yourself and how to cope with these urges. Best, Susan

July 8, 2013 - 1:13pm
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