ask: High Sex Drive: Normal or Abnormal?
Is there really such thing as a sexual peak when you hit at a certain age? I have been pretty promiscuous since I was about 19 years old and I am now 32 years old and my sex drive becomes higher and higher every year. Is this normal?
I always hear men complain that their women do not like to have sex and within a group of my friends, there are only two of us that have high sex drives. Can someone clear the air about this subject?
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What is this "sex drive" that you speak of?!!
In some ways, what's normal in terms of sex drive is like the question of what's normal in sex - the parameters are very wide, based on everything from the physical, the psychological, the cultural/societal and personal likes and dislikes.
Sex drive is sometimes stronger or weaker depending on our age and circumstances. I have heard women say they barely made it two weeks passed childbirth until they just HAD to have sex! Meanwhile for me, it was so down on the list of wants/needs that I think mowing the lawn was higher!
Some people have a natural strong sex drive, be it male or female. Some have less. Some have no physical desire at all, which is often a hormonal issue, some have less desire due to past experiences.
I saw a documentary on BBC America that discussed a group of people who were celibate by choice, had absolutely no interest in sex and did not want to be 'cured' of this; they were happy as they were.
Some people find their sex drive is decreased due to stress, overwork, nursing babies or being postpartum. Medications also factor in. Depression can also cause a person to lose their libido. Others say their drive is increased due to exercise, weight loss or less stress in their lives.
But sometimes there is no real 'reason' why one person's drive is higher. That's just the way they are.
The whole sexual peak thing does have some foundation in truth but I think a lot of it for women is that as they come into their own in their late 30s and 40s, they know what they like and are no longer shy about getting it/asking for it/talking about it.
If your sex drive is very high, it's normal as long as it is not causing you problems or affecting your life adversely. If you frequently switch partners or fail to use protection, then the problems are obvious. If it makes you unhappy or causes stress, then it's a problem. But if a high sex drive is working for you, then consider yourself lucky!
April 4, 2009 - 11:32amThis Comment
Very clever and nice response! It is too late to response but just read it.
December 22, 2011 - 2:41pmAHHH, that makes a lot of sense about being comfortable with our own sexuality. Sexual peak may not be the words, maybe it is more like confidence and the ability to take control of our own sex lives and not have to worry about the stereotype. Makes sense. Thanks.
April 5, 2009 - 9:59amHey, I'm 49 and my husband is 55 and I would say we have sex at least twice a day everyday sometimes more. We talked this subject to death because in previous relationships we were both made to feel abnormal for wanting & needing a lot of sex. We are compatible on every level (Well I think so)
July 6, 2009 - 4:08pmFor us the sex just gets better and better!The conclusion we came to is, as long as you both have the same sex drive ie: both like it the same frequency whether it be once a month or 5 times a day then there isn't a problem.
Remember, if the sex starts off good, chances are it will only continue to get better!
Enjoy - you're completely normal!!
i have a high sex drive i enjoy it but find that when i start sleeping with a man and ask for it more they dont like it. I'm 27 and i dont want to sleep around, i wait before i have sex but the men i go out with seem to presume i'm a whore because i enjoy myself! it really bugs me
July 16, 2009 - 2:05pmI'm 19 years old, My boyfriend and i agreed to wait but, my sex drive is so high.. when my boy friend gets me started (which is not really hard) he literally has to hold me down so i do not force myself on him.. is there anyway i can control this?!?
July 20, 2009 - 6:20amplease help, MKF
Dont put yourself in the position of getting so excited. Try putting a rubberband around your wrist, everytme you have an urge, snap your wrist hard. Try taking care of business before you see your boyfriend, and dont spend so much time alone with him.
January 21, 2010 - 11:58amA high sex drive is completely normal. If your boyfriend is willing and you care about him, talk about it. Hopefully, he will understand. You should not in any way feel guilty for having a sexual desire for your boyfriend.
April 19, 2010 - 9:35pmI am in the same boat!! I am 27 and my sex drive is high! I have 4 lovers who I rotate...I always use condoms and have been sleepin with all of them a while....some I don't see often..others I do......either way I am still wanting more sex!! I was always in a long term relationship...from15 till 25 I got sex all the time from my ex. Now my sex drive is so high that I have to masterbate like 3 to 6 times a day if I don't have sex. Idk what's wrong with me..its gettin worse and worse
October 7, 2011 - 11:41amI am 34 and have had this creeping up on me since I was 28, now I feel like a cat in heat. It has consumed me. I see all these guys commenting how cool it is. but it's not. My boyfriend thought it was cool till he realized how bad it was. I avoid asking him for sex because i know he will say no or he will do it because he feels like he has to and that will make me so angry. I almost slept with the gas station boy the other day. I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend but i dont know what to do.
March 11, 2012 - 6:37pm