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Susan Cody HERWriter Guide

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ask: High Sex Drive: Normal or Abnormal?

By misvives HERWriter Guide

Is there really such thing as a sexual peak when you hit at a certain age? I have been pretty promiscuous since I was about 19 years old and I am now 32 years old and my sex drive becomes higher and higher every year. Is this normal?

I always hear men complain that their women do not like to have sex and within a group of my friends, there are only two of us that have high sex drives. Can someone clear the air about this subject?

Add a Comment115 Comments

EmpowHER Guest

Is there really such thing as a sexual peak when you hit at a certain age? I have been pretty promiscuous since I was about 19 years old and I am now 32 years old and my sex drive becomes higher and higher every year. Is this normal? It's like i want all the time. I don't want this to take over my life.

February 23, 2014 - 2:21pm
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon!

Your questions is a cut and paste of the original question - can you tell your story in your own words so we can help you more?



February 24, 2014 - 11:54am
EmpowHER Guest

I'm guessing this is usually for females but I'm hoping a male can get some friendly advice also. I am 26, my wife is 27 we've been married for 8 years now. when our relationship first started the sex was great and very often, sometimes twice or three times a day. over the years we have had five beautiful children and I know that lowers her desire but I did not know it would be to the point that I feel like I nearly beg to get any from her. I have a sex drive that I am not sure is normal because I can have sex with my wife in the morning before breakfast and by the time lunch is served I'm ready again and asking her. I get told no a lot as you can imagine. I don't want to get mad at her because its not her fault I just need to know if my drive is normal for my age? does hers sound normal for her age and circumstances? what can I do to help eleviate some of mine but boost hers a bit. I mean I took her to get a tattoo on her hip and just seeing her bare skin turned me on. what should I do?

January 1, 2014 - 11:54pm
EmpowHER Guest

I just turned 29, and had my third child about 7 months ago. For about the first year after having my first two babies, my sex drive was fairly low, but returned to normal over time. After my last baby, however, I completely lost my sex drive, until weeks ago when it seemed to come back stronger than ever. Thoughts of sex dominate my life lately. No matter how often my husband and I have sex, I am never satisfied. I have been doing things to satisfy this drive, like sex and video chat with men I find online. This is completely out of my character, but my sex drive is stronger than it has ever been. I need to know if this is normal or not. It effects my life in a negative way, and I do not feel normal. Do our hormones reset or have an awakening at my age, or is this not okay? Should I see a doctor?

July 7, 2013 - 1:08am
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon - thanks for your post! As we have said, there is nothing wrong with a high sex drive but you are essentially cheating on your husband in order to achieve sexual relief and this isn't ok, unless you husband is ok with it. You may eventually cross the line and meet someone in person, putting yourself or your family in danger. And remember that video chats can be recorded - your sex life with them can be plastered all over the internet. It's a good idea to talk to a doctor or therapist about how to feel better about yourself and how to cope with these urges. Best, Susan

July 8, 2013 - 1:13pm
EmpowHER Guest

Im 16 and have a very high sex drive. I don't know how to stop it either, it has got me into alot of trouble! I have talked to many people and nothing seems to help... can someone help me!!!PLEASE

January 27, 2013 - 3:43pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

At your age (16) I would highly recommend asking a doctor for advise and definately use condoms at all time with a back up birth control method. My saving grace was I waited until almost 18 to loose virginity then married the man, which didn't work forever but did last 14yrs. Get a good vibrator and see if that helps you stay away from boys who only want to use you.

January 27, 2013 - 6:26pm
EmpowHER Guest

I am newly single at 36, have only had 2 partners the first I was married to for 14yrs. Sex has been amazing with both men, they both commented any man would be lucky to have me because of my unusually high sex drive. I do not want to sleep around with just anyone but my vibraters are not enough to satisfy, sure I can keep an orgasm going as long as I want but still feel frustrated and let down afterwards. I loved my men and toys mixed. How can I temporarily lower my sex drive? I need to be single for at least six months to focus on career goals and kids. That is part of why second relationship failed, I was tooo busy working. He didnt want to share me with work and kids even though we still had sex several times a week. I exercise and run to rid myself of excess energy along with working from crack of dawn to sunset. I do not want to be promiscuous, but catch myself thinking about fixing my problem with one night stands or trying to find a fuck buddy. None of my friends love sex like I do, what can I do to be more normal and survive my designated single state? Help Sexually frustrated

January 6, 2013 - 6:02am
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

There isn't much you can do to stop a high sex drive but keeping very busy and taking lots of exercise might help - even by making your tired.

But if sounds like if you are working from dawn to dusk, exercising and raising kids but still so focused on sex that it has become a problem for you, then you might want to talk to your doctor. There is nothing wrong with having a high sex drive at all - only when it interferes with your daily life or your mindset - as it seems to be doing. You shouldn't have to "survive" being celibate if it's something you feel you need to be right now. That seems a bit self-punitive. If you can find someone to have sex with (without the relationship) that could work but make sure you use protection all the time (because he is probably sleeping with others too) and remember that condoms don't protect you fully from HPV or herpes (or 100% of anything). It's something to think about.

Let me know what you think,


January 8, 2013 - 1:49pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Susan Cody)

I did cave in shortly after posting, messaged ex asked what was up, etc etc. Got a temporary fix, he is a cheat and I already told his current girlfriend he cheated on me with you, dont trust him. She is young and didnt listen, this alleviates my guilt a little and I will only message him when desperation takes over. He volunteered to oblige for this next semester when I need to stay focused on my goal, until I am able to persue a new relationship. I am almost done with my RN degree and this is the most intense semester, I am aware of all the physical problems of unprotected sex. That is still great advise for anyone else reading blog.

January 8, 2013 - 4:03pm
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