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How do I deal with my perimenopausal adult daughter? She's become very difficult.

By Anonymous December 30, 2011 - 11:12am
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Although my adult daughter & I have always been very close, she has become very "snarky" and passive-agressive with me, and contradicts me at every turn. What can I do to ease the tension between us? I'm pretty easy going & not at all
confrontational, but her thoughtless behavior with me deeply hurts. When I try to talk to her, she just plays dumb. Help!!

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Dear Anon,

I'm sorry you are having to deal with your daughter's Perimenopausal symptoms. Is she currently on any medication for menopause or considering natural alternatives? Unfortunately, you will need to talk to her and have her realize that she's awfully grouchy lately without making her seem like the bad guy. I know you say she plays dumb but it may help if you start the conversation by talking about how difficult the symptoms of menopause were for you and how you coped with the irritability among other symptoms. Then gently bring up that she has been very irritable with you lately-- ask if she's having troubles elsewhere that she wants to talk about? Have her open up to you but do it on one of her better days. You don't want to aggravate someone who is already high strung. If she starts to get defensive then you may have to pull back and consider keeping a little more distance than usual until she realizes that her behavior has pushed you away. 

Here are some natural treatments for menopause: http://www.empowher.com/menopause/content/you-are-not-crazy%E2%80%A6just-perimenopausal


Your conversation with her should be set with a goal of getting her to go to the doctor if you aren't sure if her symptoms are in fact perimenopause related and not stress-related. Once she has considered treatment, whether medicated or natural, then you can start working on building your relationship again.

Wish you the best!


December 30, 2011 - 11:24am
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