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I am a Man, why aren't women interested in having sex with me anymore?

By Anonymous January 7, 2011 - 2:01pm
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It has been over a year since I last had sex.....why won't women have sex with me anymore? I'm a very heterosexual man who has been going through some tough times, the toughest part has been the lack of sexual contact in my life. The last time I had a truely sexually emotional experience was over EIGHT YEARS AGO! I am not some hideous monster, nor am I George Clooney....I am just your average(sometimes above-average)guy who is looking for someone special in his life to be loving and intimate with.

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did you ever ask your girl that question? why she doesn't like that.. in fact, sharing your feeling during and after sex is quite important to improve your sex life next time.. you can also find support on a trust healthy sex support site Positivemate.. ask the live counselor..hope you can find the reason soon..

January 20, 2011 - 8:19pm
EmpowHER Guest

Id say to go out with a couple of your closest boys to a local club and have them wingman for you...buy a couple drinks for the girl u wanna get to know...aim for one that seems down to earth and not full of herself, cuz in your condition it may be easier to get sympathy from the gentle type and by the way ur talkin, thats probably exactly what u want. so gather up some courage an get ur groove on ma dude!

January 19, 2011 - 6:42pm
EmpowHER Guest

Hi Christopher,
If she is a busy woman, write her an e-mail or some other form of electronic message of some sort to explain your feelings towards her. The electronic age has certainly gave way to an easier way to tell people how you feel if they are busy busy busy. I know this feeling all too well.

If it is meant to be, it will happen in time and at the right time. I hope by the time you receive this message, you have great news to share.
Best of luck and keep us posted,

January 15, 2011 - 9:48am
(reply to Anonymous)


She was busy seeing another guy! I sat her down and told her just how I felt about her....that I cared for her deeply, that I loved her.....she told me that she was seeing another man for the past two months, and that she just wanted to be friends! I can't keep gathering 'friends' like that, I need someone who I can be intimate and romantic with.

Is something wrong with me?


January 18, 2011 - 7:56pm
(reply to Christopher2098)


Would it be considered incredibly 'out of line' if I told this 'friend' of mine(the one that we have been discussing)that I did still love her, took her in my arms and just kissed her? I've been told that women(especially her age)respect strength.


January 31, 2011 - 12:01am
HERWriter Guide (reply to Christopher2098)

Hi Christopher!

Yes, it would be incredibly out of line! :)

Women do respect strength in a man (as do men in women) but not a man who can't take no for an answer! In the sense you are talking about, I think you're thinking of a kind of John Wayne/Maureen O'Hara setting when she finally gives in after he pins her down and kisses her.

Doing that these days is more likely to give you a sore jaw (or something else!) than a returned kiss. This is not the kind of "strength" a woman likes, no matter what her age.

Your friend has told you that she likes you - she values your friendship but not in a romantic sense. She is dating others and views you as a friend only. You just need to accept that because no means no.

I think a lot of people go through long periods of being unlucky in love. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you, it just means you haven't found that special someone. For some, it can take a year, for others it could take twenty! Try some dating sites where the women you meet ARE interested in having a date with you and try it from there. Online dating is just as common these days as meeting in bars or dog parks or through work. At least you'll get out and about, meet new faces and have a little fun. It can't hurt to try!


January 31, 2011 - 12:25pm
(reply to Susan Cody)

It can hurt to have to go without love and affection for as long as I have! This woman that I have been discussing has said that she does 'love me', it seems that she is dating this other man because he is employed(for due to this unruly economy, I am not and she is not), she constantly asks me about my job opportunities, as if she is 'waiting' for something to happen in my life so that she could feel as if I could provide for her....I don't know anymore, but I do know that I love her and that she is the only woman for me!

January 31, 2011 - 4:33pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to Christopher2098)

Well, Christopher, whatever her reasons are, she's not dating you. I love some men too (other than my husband) but not in a romantic way. As to all the "whys?" - well, obviously we've given you all our perspectives. We can't give you answers as it's all speculation. If you wish to pursue this further, you could try for the male perspective from these sites:


and just remember that unless SHE indicates otherwise, you have no choice but to be "friends" without romance.

Thank you for writing and I'm glad we could offer somewhat of an opinion or two. Good luck on this men's sites!


February 2, 2011 - 12:29pm
(reply to Susan Cody)

The second two sites are oriented toward women.

February 2, 2011 - 3:37pm
(reply to Susan Cody)

This isn't helping me, if all the women I meet only want to be 'friends' with me, then I will die a very young, very lonely man. A man has a biological need for romance and affection.

February 2, 2011 - 1:33pm
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