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okay so weve been together for about 9 months now, were both only 19, but i do everything for him, he never asks me to, i just do, if he needs something or wants something, ill just go out and get it for him, yes we are talking materialistic things here at the moment, i spend alot of money on him and i dont think he realizes how much, and he takes it for granted, im loving caring and supportive with anything he wants to do, we have one of the best relationships ive seen, this is just a little issue that bothers me abit. he takes me for granted, since weve been together, i go out and i book a getaway for the both of us, and i dont expect him to pay i do, which is fine with me, it was my idea and i want to show him how special he is and to spend some quality time together, its abit hard to explain, but not once, even a bunch of flowers, even a suprise dinner, something romantic it doesnt need to be materialistic, just something even a hand written letter would make my day, but i get nothing and i dont know what to do. just sometimes a girl likes to feel special, and hes mentioned it a few times to me, but he always goes into it saying if i had the money i would (no he wouldnt) he rather spend it on something else, HE DOESNT GET THAT IT DOESNT NEED TO COST ANYTHING IT JUST NEEDS TO COME FROM THE HEART,
any advice on how to deal with it would be fantastic, i might sound like a sook, but it hurts.
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Ladidadida,
It sounds like you have a spoiled boyfriend. After 9 months of getting served hand and foot without having to ask for anything, it becomes something that is more expected and less deserved. What you have to do now is break the habit of buying him things, no vacations, no more "babying" him. You're 19 and it sounds like you're a 40 something year old cougar dating a college boy. Sometimes men don't realize that all we want is some appreciation-- he thinks that because what you get him is materialistic, what he needs to give back should be tangible too, but he doesn't have the money. Cut him some slack, he's 19 and hasn't yet learned that a little caress and a simple thank you can go a long way in a woman's heart. If you want your relationship to go the distance, start letting him make the reservations at a restaurant, let him pick out next weekends activity and come to an agreement that if you pay for dinner, he'll pay for the movie and slowly break that habit of you being the sugar momma. Don't get me wrong, I know that you do this because you are a genuine and kind person, but it has backfired on you and it is not too late to fix it.
Best wishes,
Rosa
June 30, 2011 - 6:57amThis Comment