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Is it normal for a man to health a female friend that he doesn't tell his girlfriend about?

By Anonymous February 24, 2011 - 1:50pm
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I found out she was with him in Vegas (he's says it was a coincidcence that he ran into her, he saw her the next month at an overnight trip "with the guys", he asked her to meet him to gamble for the weekend. He says she's just a gambling friend, but never mentioned her to me. I found by seeing his text messages.

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i just found this web site and am in love. I know that all of you wonderful women that share and are willing to give good sound safe advise are going to help me improve my life. You may have even saved me. blessings

March 2, 2011 - 7:55pm
(reply to ncharm)

I'm so glad the website is providing some support for you. I truly believe that you can build a better life for yourself if you put your mind and effort toward it. A quote from one of my favorite movies, Better Off Dead goes like this: "Go that way, really really fast. If something gets in your way, TURN!" Yes it was a comedy, but still good value in the sentiment, I think.
Take care of yourself, and blessings to you too.

March 3, 2011 - 7:19am
EmpowHER Guest

Wow, more great comments. ALL true. Each one makes me understand more. (Not that I don't alread know.) It'a nice to get advise from other women that helps to reinforce what I'm feeling.

March 2, 2011 - 7:40pm

I have to agree, things look bad and will only get worse. trust me get out now.. Now, i am going to take my own advise and step out of my 6 yr. relationship to nowhere. thanks u helped me too by sharing your story. wish me luck and blessing to you

March 2, 2011 - 3:02am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to ncharm)

Thanks all. It's hard. I want to believe the best. My heart says to stay in it until I have absolute proof, but my head says I already know the truth. The biggest problem is the secret and the lies regardless if there has been cheating. I'm probably going to end it. I've tried sooooo many times and we end up making up. Relationships are so confusing.

March 2, 2011 - 7:00am
(reply to Anonymous)

Now if you are in the right relationship it is NOT confusing. All relationships have issues but I have been married for 25 years to my high school sweetheart and I have NEVER felt as if my husband was hiding anything. We have raised two wonderful boys. But we have also been through bad times. I am a two time cancer survivor. I came really close to dying and who was by my side every minute. My husband. He was my biggest supporter and fought like heck to save my life. I asked him how he was able to deal with that and he said, "For better and worse. I meant it twenty five years ago and I mean it now." If you are in the right relationship each of you will help the other to be the best you can be.

March 2, 2011 - 11:10am
(reply to Anonymous)

keep this in mind, when you stay with someone and you are miserable, it's not a relationship, it's a bad habit

March 2, 2011 - 11:07am

I hear things like this too many times. If it feels wrong then it is wrong. Why did you feel the need to look at his text messages? Why did he not feel comfortable telling you about these encounters? My gut says you don't trust him but you are afraid to lose him. You are afraid to be alone. Stick up for yourself and get out of this inevitably worsening relationship. Cheating is cheating, lying is lying and living a lie is never healthy for either party.

February 27, 2011 - 5:14pm

Thanks for your question and for finding EmpowHER. In addition to what Onlyoneme said, be glad you're not married to this man. In a dating relationship, you have a choice. You can deal with his behavior, or you can say, "I'm not cool with this," and decide to move on. Word of note though, if you're not cool with it, and you put up with it, or talk with him about it and it's unresolved, you are setting yourself up for more struggle down the road with this man. It is dishonest that you are checking his texts--just like him leaving out mention of a mysterious friend. Regardless of what he's doing, you can't be trusted if you can't trust. And it seems to me that this is something fundamentally wrong with this relationship. Think about it, and talk with your boyfriend in an adult manner. If you can't get past this, and get on equal and trustworthy ground with each other, you're spinning your wheels here. Good luck, I know it won't be easy. Take care of yourself.

February 25, 2011 - 8:26am

Ok,the first time could have been just by being in vegas @ the same time,lets give them the benefit of the doubt.But, the 2nd time???? i dont know.How she's able to "just" so happen pop up where ever he may be unless they have mutal friends? now if they have mutal friends and they r both getting invited then thats not his fault,But then why havent he mentioned anything to u? somebody is lieing and hiding something.Get to the bottom of this.

February 24, 2011 - 2:59pm
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