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My boyfriend has folders and folders of photos naked women take of themselves. Do I have a right to be upset?

By November 4, 2014 - 1:28pm
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He asks me for pics. Similar pics. And he loves them. Yet still has to save all these others of girls that look nothing like me.

I feel useless.

I sent him this
"you are literally saving pics of other naked girls to your phone, i just dont understand why you need to save it. Especially when your asking and getting the same types of pics from me. I kind of just feel like im not good enough or something. Like just another pic. Except i dont look anything like what your saving and i feel usless to you"...

his response
"ya i hear what you are saying and i deleted them this morning after you mentioned this".

Not - i find you attractive. Not your beautiful. Thats it. I am beautiful. I have a great body. I am toned just not skinny. I am normal. I have blonde hair not dark hair. I have brown eyes not blue. And these pics are all blue eyed brown haired anos! Like his recent ex who looks wise doesnt compare to me! Yet now i feel self-conscious???. I am so sick of feeling so self-conscious when i am usually so happy with my body and my looks.

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Hi RealityCheck and thanks for sharing your story.

Let's see what's happened here. You asked him to remove photos. He heard your request and took action.

You also expressed some feelings. You expected him to react to those feelings by telling you how wonderful you are. He didn't do that.

Men are problem solvers. If they are asked to take care of something, or solve a problem, they generally try to do so.

They don't do as well with hints, indirect suggestions or interpreting feelings.

If you want him to tell you what he thinks of you, what he likes about you, why he's in a relationship with you, and so forth, then you need to ask him directly. It would be better to do this in person than through texts.

Whether you stay with this boyfriend or not, you will always be with YOU. One thing that might be helpful is to work on building your self esteem. This article, written for the EmpowHER community, has some really great tips.

Build Your Self Esteem, A Starter Guide to Self Improvement


There's an old saying, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I hope you will take it to heart.



November 4, 2014 - 6:17pm
(reply to Pam Ellen)

Thank you for putting it so straight. You are so right.

I need to focus on myself and make me happy and let the rest be.

November 5, 2014 - 11:06am
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