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I'm 26 years old, and my bf's 24. We're on our 4th year together. For the past, almost 2 years, he hasn't wanted to have sex. We yoused to have a GREAT sex life, it's how we got together, and now, it's diminished. I've asked him about it, I've yelled, I've cried, and nothing. He just tells me he doesn't know. He denies me constantly. I've layed naked beside him, offered him blowjobs, I've even touched myself infront of him, and he still denies me. I know he's not cheating. He's never worked a day in his life so it's not that. He's in school, but only so he can play on their Hockey Team, so it's not school. He's not gay. He won't even kiss me! More than a peck that is. He gambles, A LOT. Poker, and sports betting. I thought it might even be that, since he's consumed with it, but even an addict would want a naked girl lying there ready and wanting, wouldn't they??? I'm not an unattractive girl either. Not trying to be conceited, but just to explain. This is such a problem now. I moved with him for the 3rd "school year" (Sept-April), in a row, 2 Provinces away from where I'm from, with no family, and barely any friends. I just don't know if it's worth it anymore. I don't even know if I should or can be mad at him. I try to get serious about it, and he just tells me, he is attracted to me, that I'm beautiful, and he loves me a lot, but he doesn't know why he doesn't want to. He even told me tonight, after yet another denial, that he loves me too much to do it?. And he can get it up, so it's also not that. I actually think he doesn't know. It's been way too long, and I've gotten so upset over it, so many times. I don't think he wouldn't tell me if he actually knew.
I just really don't know what to do... Is a relationship even anything without sex? And, can I keep being in this relationship without ever being desired???
Can this relationship be saved? Is there anything left to do, or are we pretty much done?
I seriously need help:(
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I am going through the same thing and it hurts a lot...I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and nothing not even making out or touching...I get very lonely and sad...I Love My Man too...But I can't go on living like this anymore...He makes up excuses not to to touch me or have sex with me...even when I touch him he curls up like a little girl and then he rejects me. I have searched websites high and low , I also thought some thing was wrong with me and I know I'm a very attractive woman but sometimes I feel like it's not enough...Maybe we both have chosen the wrong guy even though we both love our men...sex is important in a relationship , it's a type of connection that shows love...Good luck and I hope you find happiness.
September 20, 2016 - 6:10amThis Comment
I can only offer 1 perspective on this issue, my own.... I am a man, so maybe some of this will ring true or be of some use to you. Men, myself included, are often far more sensitive than they are willing to let on or are given credit for. Quite often with men, if they are unhappy or uncomfortable in a situation, will become either defensive or in more delicate situations we tend to withdraw from it. Me and my girlfriend are going through similar problems. Why? well, for the record I have a very high libido and can tell you that drive is not the issue. As our relationship has progressed I began to notice more and more criticism levied at me in every day life, her mobile phone has become a more permanent fixture in my company, and her social life always takes precedence over us spending time together. If I say something about her inattentiveness or criticism's then I'm "too sensetive". If I complain about her going out too much or cancelling our plans then I'm "controlling", If I go out or cancel plans then she is "disappointed in me" and won't speak to me for days. If I ask for sex when she doesn't want it I'm "objectifying her and only after one thing and have to be mindful of her needs" if she wants sex and I don't then I'm "Not meeting her needs". I could go on but needless to say there is not just 1 thing that is the problem here; I still love her and we have some truly amazing times together but as you can imagine I reached a state of confusion and annoyance which then quickly sublimated to apathy - which is a strong coping mechanism, after all how can something hurt your feelings if you don't care about it? With regards to sex, I am definitely less interested in it because I have 'turned of' to some degree to protect my own feelings.
November 20, 2016 - 7:28amThis Comment
Hello I'm just needing a little insight about my relationship . I'm a 21 year old beautiful woman I've been dating a 27 year old man for a year. When I first started to date him we were making love like rabbits and he doesn't have a bad size penis but it makes me miss the sizes I'm used to. He is a wonderful man he loves me, we live together , he supports me respects me the whole nine. It s just he doesn't like to have sex with me, or the women he dates. His past girlfriend dumped him because of that. He's not gay he loves and admires women but when it comes to sex he gets soft while he's in me. He's doesn't mind eating me out but I honestly just want some dick for a change . I feel like I'm 21 and not really living my young adult years because I'm to busy trying to love a man who doesn't even want to have sex. I try everything oral, lingerie, and it still doesn't get him up or want to have sex , then itsucks because he does have a small penis so when we Mae love I can't really feel it and when he get soft I can't feel it at all and it's so frustrating. I dont want to leave him because he is good to me and o don't want it to be all about the sex but DAMN something got to give . what should I do ?
December 11, 2015 - 1:18amThis Comment
My boyfriend is 28 and I am 24. We have been together three years now and over a year ago we stopped having sex. Now I am lucky to get anything more than a peck on the lips. I've tried many ways to turn him on but I get nothing. At times he gets annoyed if I even touch on him but he has no problem teasing me by asking for it. He tells me he loves me, that I'm beautiful and that he is still attracted to me. He would always say hes too tired or he's busy, even if just watching tv. I've tried to talk to him about it but it frustrates him. He couldn't give me an excuse until 6 months of no sex and he told me he just didn't want it at that time. Months later he told me it is because he wants to wait to consumate engagement but after thinking for a few weeks I told him he should have discussed this with me because it should be what I want too. This led to an argument and we haven't talked about it since. He doesn't show much affection like he use to. I am already self conscious and the constant denial Isn't helping. I don't want to leave because I love him and have put a lot into this relationship but I feel it isn't returned. I really don't know where to go from here because I don't want to feel like it is a wrong reason to want out.
November 29, 2015 - 1:55pmThis Comment
Hi I'm 18, boyfriend/fiancée is 21.
November 10, 2015 - 11:29pmWe are young so we such be doing it a lot like rabbits but sadly no. I try and try, from walking around the house in sexy role play outfits to nothing at all, I try kissing him, touching him, everything you can think of and nothing!
We used to do it all the time and it would last a good 20 mins, but now if and when I get any, it lasts 3 mins tops and I don't get off most times. Iv tried everything and he doesn't want to touch me. Our long kisses/ make outs have depleted to 1-2 second pecks. Iv tried talking to him, all he says is he's tired (no one is that tired every second of every day) or gets mad. Like I understand he works and stuff and gets stressed but come on now. I don't know what else to do.
-Bobbie
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Im in a bad situation. Im 36 and he is 45. He only shoves his dick in my moist but dry pussy. He doesnt work me up at all. He just fingers me for 1 minute before he shoves it in. I give him oral but he wont return the favor. I can actually have over 10 orgasms in a day but he wont give me 1 orgasm. When i dont want him shoving his thing in me i still jerk him off so that he can get off. I have a 17 year old daughter so i try to keep the family together but i really dont think i deserve to be horny all the time for the rest of my life. I need love and affection. I feel very ashamed of myself because im with this guy who is more than able to make love to me but i dont think he gives a fuck. Im worth more than this silly shit. Any help please.
July 13, 2015 - 1:14pmThis Comment
I'm 32 and married with 2 boys and one on the way. I've been married for 4 years an my husband is the same way. He doesn't seem to want to touch me, cuddle, kiss, fuck, or anything. He's actually the first guy I've ever been with who hasn't wanted sex often and I miss it too. When we met I lived in another state so when he came to see me we'd have sex and be close but since I moved to his state he changed and then I seen Hus true colors and I don't really like it. I have a high sex drive and being with another who doesn't is very sad and frustrating. He doesn't seen it as an issue and also likes to change the subject, mostly because he doesn't understand I think. It seems he doesn't seen the closeness to me as I do to him. I've been trying to find a way to get through to him but I think for me, a therapist is the only answer. Do you other young, not married girls...if you feel, deep down, that nothing will get better than leave him. If its been over a year or 2 with no change...I'm sorry to say there won't be in years to come. Guys have a hard time realizing their faults and in turn changing. I'm stuck at the moment but will always fight for my needs but you guys can find a better life that suits your needs as well as his. It should never be a one way street in a loving, respectable relationship.
April 26, 2015 - 8:38pmHope all goes well for all you ladies...good luck.
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Hi, I am 25 and my boyfriend is 35. We have been together for 2 years. I have a super sexual labito and I always have to initiate sex. He never does. But when we do have sex... I know he enjoys it with me. Y wouldnt he want to initiate it. I know he works hard and is tired alot but how as a guy can he not be all over me... trying to have sex all the time... I dont understand it.
January 11, 2015 - 10:06amThis Comment
I'm 23 my boyfriends 23 I'm laying in bed half naked and he doesn't even try to touch me he also says I love you and your beautiful but still nothing I cry I'm sad he comes in the room to see if I'm touching myself but of course I'm not just frustrated he yells stating that I'm depressed and he's annoyed but I'm not depressed just pissed I deserve someone who wants me I've befn with him for 3 years going on 4 Im ready to walk away if this doesn't change
September 27, 2014 - 2:53pmThis Comment
Nothing works me and my bf have been together for 3 years now. We haven't had sex in 15 months and its killing me!!!!! Like right now i am laying naked in bed next to him and still nothing. We use to have sex but now nothing! He says that he wants to wait until we get married that it would be something to look forward to. He also says that his other relationships that had sex in them didn't last.
May 13, 2014 - 5:18amI don't want our whole relationship to be about sex i just want a sex life!!!! The rest of our relationship is great it's just this. Idk what to do anymore i have ran out of options.
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