My boyfriend NEVER wants to have sex. He denies me ALL the time. Even if I'm naked and willing! HELP!!!!

in a very similair situation. Im 21 and by boyfriend is 24. when we first got together we had se whenever we could. When we moved in together it started to fizzle out. Now its months before we have sex again. Im currently in a 9 month drought.
Ive contemplated cheating on him. I need to have that closeness to someone sex is a huge thing for me and i sincereley miss it. The thing is he wont talk about it. He just ignores the issue and changes the subject. I want him to see a doctor but he wont even consider it. Ive had every excuse from headaches to stress at work. i feel unwanted, un attractive and frankly like a live in house cleaner. And when we do eventually have sex its like he cant be bothered. theres no intimacy. he just tells me to get naked. shoves it up my bum for a bit then he has se with me untill he thinks ive orgasm'd (which most of the time im faking because its not enjoyable for me) theres no foreplay or anything else. its just wham bam thank you mam. Im seriousley contemplating leaving him. but i love him. This is a man who regardless of the issues wit our sex life i want to settle down and get married to and have children. Which is another reason why this concerns me. How are we supposed to have kids one day when we never have sex.
Im at the end of my tether with it all now. Anyone have any suggestions?

It is easy to find faults in others or in ourselves.If it is truly love someone then we accept the situarion and with determination work sincerely for a better life.
In the east,people have loving relationships without getting physical before marraige and this practice is still cooomontill date.
To love means to give and not see what we are getting alone.
In case you really love him ,why not actually develop a honest relationship with him and openly talk instead of seeking solution on the net.
I do not intend to preach.just for you good.sorry :)

Hi Anonymous,

Thank you for your question anonymous and I am sorry that are and your partner are having issues. Communication is key. You must express and talk to her about your feelings about this issue and see where you two can come to an agreement or perhaps a disagreement that may change your lives forever. Either way, you are obviously looking for answers since you are unhappy...go to her and see what she says.

I hope this helps.
Good luck,
Missie

Hihi my name is Paris. I'm 19. Currently...I've been having the SAME issue with my life partner. We got engaged January 3d and had sex that evening. I've tried EVERYTHING in my power to get my fiance to make love to me...and nothing works. Its like the things that did turn her on...don't anymore. And sometimes I feel completely disgusting..ugly...or like something is wrong with me. She tells me I'm gorgeous and she loves me...but I've been wanting/needing tht connection. It never works. Nothing I do. I'm not an ugly girl either..lol....I model. I even took sexy pics and gave them to her and it didn't work! I get so frustrated to the point I get mad at her or cry. I know she isn't cheatin because we work together and have the same schedules.......what the hell? What do I do. And please don't tell me vibrators...its not the connection I crave. I've tried it..its her I want.

My Husband is 32 and I am 28. We have been married for a few years. He says he always has had a low libido, and that he found more Passion with his lab research than with me (or girls in general, I was his first GF). There's one problem though, I am hypersexual! I usually end up dragging HIM to bed! He says it's nothing personal, and I haven't taken it personally. We love each other very much, and have so much going for each other, but not so much in the sex department. We have been discussing the idea of me having sex with other men to satisfy my urges. So far, he doesn't have a problem with it. Don't be afraid to have these kinds of discussions with your man! If he doesn't like the idea, maybe it will open his eyes and make himself more possessive of you, and taking you to bed more often... ;) Cheers!

u cant just lay there in the nooooooood u need to talk dirty and act like a pornstar. if u love him then u wont be embarassed and it will make him feel like he is in a porno, guys love that

Omg me friggen too! Except I'm 20 years old. He is a poker player who has never worked either. & we are also entering a 4th year in an on off relationship. He hasn't been interested in sex with me for about a year now. He won't touch me but he does want oral. Alot! It's really selfish and annoying. And I sit there really really horny as he moans in pleasure. I've thought he's prob tired of me. And to be honest I think that's probably it. =( it really sucks. I know how you feel. I'm to the point where I don't know what to do.

Courtney,

What do YOU want from your life? In addition to a loving relationship, of course, what do YOU hope to do in your life?

You mention that your boyfriend wants to play poker forever, play hockey forever, and have sex to porn instead of you. And that you dont' know if you want to follow him around (to the casino, to the hockey games) for the rest of your life, but you aren't sure what you'd do without him.

So let's talk about what you'd do without him. What sort of dreams did you have for your life before you met him? What kind of career or profession interests you? Do you want to travel? Do you have any natural talents, things you love to do?

What kinds of small things make you happy? Your favorite things to wear, your favorite music, your favorite movies? Do you have girlfriends that you keep up with? Are you close to your family?

His life is not your life. And it can't be. You aren't happy that he gambles, that he masturbates to porn, or that he won't pay attention to you, but you aren't sure what you'd do without him. That's called settling, Courtney. And it isn't something that feels good to you.

So I urge you to do something -- start a journal, maybe -- where you get back in touch with Courtney. Maybe you only write in it for 15 minutes a day, but what you write about is what YOU want, what makes YOU happy, and what YOU hope will happen in your day, your week, your year, your life.

What makes you special?