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My boyfriend won't have sex with me anymore....what's wrong with me?

By May 14, 2011 - 2:14am
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My boyfriend and I haven't been together long. We have known eachother for almost a year and have been together about 4 months. We now live together, big step I know. When we first got together it was every other day, sometimes a couple times a day. I am his ideal type from what I have seen and heard. He is 28 and I am 22. We have not had sex in 6 weeks. There was no gradual reduction of frequency, it just suddenly stopped. At first I would try to get him in the mood by touching or whatever, then I tried wearing sexier clothes. Then I just gave up and stopped trying. I don't want to be rejected anymore because, well duh, it hurts. I have talked to him about it and he says its nothing wrong with me and that his ex wife had the same questions, that he sometimes goes for months without sex. But I am starting to wonder what's wrong with me. I have heard that there is a condition that some men have that causes them to not want sex for extended periods of time (dr. Oz) is this true?? Is there anything I can do. I'm not trying to brag but I am a very attractive woman, so I don't know what's going on. He is the type to tell me (or anyone) how it is, he's straightforward and doesn't play games and is a very honest person. I've been in love with him for longer than we've been together and I am not walking away from this relationship, unless something shady is going on.... however as an individual with enough emotional scars ( every man/boy whatever you wanna call them I have dated has cheated on me) things like this break my confidence and make me wonder.... is there any advise you have for me please?? I can't take much more...its not just the sex I need/want...its the emotional connection.

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thank you for the response....while I would be compelled to think that he is just a more emotional person, unfortunately this is not so. The sad part is that he is also not very affectionate either. He sleeps on the couch now, because the bed hurts his back, and that has been going on about the same amount of time. I have spoken with him and discussed my feelings. Things have gotten slightly better relationship-wise....however not by much. I also am currently dealing with anxiety and depression and wonder if this could be a cause....I just want to connect with him again.

May 18, 2011 - 12:39am
EmpowHER Guest

Hi Tygalilie,
I am sorry that you are having these feelings but they are common feelings for some people. Some individual s rely their love and affection on sexual pleasures while others may be more geared to an emotional side. Perhaps your boyfriend is attached to you in a more emotional side rather than sexually and that’s okay if you can learn to understand that. You talked to him already and he said his ex-wife complained about his lack of sex also so this is something that has been going on for a while. You must come to an agreement between the both of you to reach an understanding or leave each other. You should not feel lacking and neither should he…relationships are always about compromise. Perhaps you two can find one.

Good luck,

May 14, 2011 - 10:46am
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