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Need to spice up my sex life! Help!

By September 23, 2010 - 12:23pm
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Me and my boyfriend have been going through a bit of a dry spell. We have an 18 month old son, an he works full time, supporting the family. Sometimes we are both just exhausted and stressed and find it easier to just fall asleep rather than fool around. It is our 3 year anniversary this weekend, and I wanted to do something to spice it up. When we do have sex, it is usually the same routine, which is another reason it may not be so frequent, we need something to really look forward to. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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EmpowHER Guest

i would get a sexy oufit put together...now i dont have the biggest pocket book so i dont go on shopping sprees to victorias secret or anything...but if you go to even walmart has some very sexy lengerie for very good prices...so maybe one day when he walks in you can wair your same old robe you always wair and when hes pulling off his shoes you can pull it off in front of him...that will get his attention and addd some new spice...alllso since you both are so busy the one place everyone needs to go is THE SHOWER:)

September 27, 2010 - 8:44pm

Hi delirious,
Congratulations on your 18 month old! I have a 6 month old, and I am definitely right there with you regarding being too tired for intimacy! We both would MUCH rather sleep these days! :-) However, feeling connected is still important, and since we are on the same page, we are able to connect in many other ways other than "just" sex.

A few ideas for you:
1. Lingerie is the first thing that comes to mind when I read that you want to "spice" up your sex life and get out of the routine
2. Since you two are still preferring sleep over intimacy, creating an environment that enables intimacy is probably most important. This includes everything from leading up to the weekend (days before, begin playful touching, nice compliments and acknowledgments of each other, love notes on voicemail or in wallet, telling him you are looking forward to this weekend, etc). I do not know if you have a babysitter, the entire weekend or just an evening, but also not putting too much pressure on yourselves with specific outcomes/goals. Just spending quality time together can be great and relaxing. Doing something the day-of that is physically active, eating healthy and having fun by feeling emotionally and mentally connected are the best ways to have the evening end in physical intimacy that is "spicy".
3. A new location always spices things up. Book a hotel room for the evening (if possible), "camp" outside in your backyard or living room (with baby monitor) for a fun change of scenery.
4. Make sure your husband is on the same page. Talk about what you each would like out of this weekend, so that you two do not have opposite or mixed "goals" in mind that conflict.

Good luck!

September 23, 2010 - 1:16pm
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