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What can I do about my HIGH sex drive, I'm 47, female, married

By September 17, 2009 - 7:50pm
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In the past say 4-6 months my sex drive has gone crazy high. I want sex all the time.
But my hubby of 28 yrs, doesn't share that want, well when he was 18 he did. We talked about it and when my drive was low, he masterbated, so I tried, it's ok, it helps some what, but it's not intense like when he helps, we do have sex say 2 times a week. And he tries hard to help me orgasum. And when I do it's long and wonderful. When I masterbated by myself it's short multi orgasums, 4-5 at one sitting. Which helps for a while. I've been on line, I do look at say Nude Photography. I've never signed into any sex site like that. I tend to like to look at females or lisbians, to see what they do. Big penis' don't turn me on, it's what my hubby can do for me. I've been reading alot more books on sex... Please can you give me any ideas. But here's the big thing, I LOVE IT, it makes me feel so energize to have oragasums, it gives me this good feeling, I keggle all day, that gives me a lift too.

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EmpowHER Guest

your husband shouldnt complain my wife is 47 and we have sex about once every 2 months i could do it every day i have to masterbate every day i dont want to do it with another woman she is fantastic in bed so your hubby should have sex with you every day i wish my wife was like you

February 10, 2011 - 11:49pm
EmpowHER Guest

Hi ' a 50 year old male and my wife 47 years old and I have alweys had a healthy sex life, we make love almost every night for the past 30 years, but lately she has become more intense and can't seem to get enough, our encounters usually last around 50 minutes to an hour or so, never quick, here is the different thing that has been happening for the past six months but not before, as soon as my penis is inside her she goes crazy with desire and orgasms almost immediately and will do so until I am finished which could take 5 minutes or 20, the bed ends up saturated from her juices and now we use towels to help, can you tell me what has brought this on and how long it might last, neither of us are complaining at all, it's wonderfull that she is being fulfilled, I might add my wife has not gone through menopaus as yet, could this be the beginning of it. she tells me that she is horny 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

October 9, 2009 - 5:59am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

sounds so good to me. People like us need to have sex allday.

November 9, 2016 - 8:53am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I am 50, my wife is 47, she refuse all the time have sex with me, i even scold her u are useless lady, in bed she said she is tired turn to other site and sleep, not even hug me during in bed, she is really useless nowadays, i don't want hawker a sort for now, what shall i do.

October 10, 2015 - 1:44pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I am a 45 yr old female that did not have any desire for sex for about 2yrs up until now. My sex drive is sky high and i want sex 24hours a day . Thank god a have a good husband that was able to understand me through those days and was vey patient with me. Let me tell you if you where myhusband and told me I was USELESS you would of had divorce papers the following day. You yourself are a selfish useless husband . Maybe its you and not her! It sounds to me you are those type of men that dont care if their partner has an orgasm or not aslong as you are content who cares about the rest. Do not be suprised if she has a side kick on the side and thats the reason why she doesnt care to have sex with you..

September 4, 2016 - 9:18pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Huh. I can't IMAGINE why a woman wouldn't want to have sex with you when you tell her she's "useless." Don't be surprised if she serves you divorce papers. You'd certainly deserve it.

March 20, 2016 - 8:27am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I am 49 and wife 42 since last 2 to 3 years my drive has gone down and during same time wife's desire have increased. All this while we have been loyal to each other. Recently i came across a friend 45 whose wife has been showing coldness and he is lot frustrated. After some thought i coaxed both my friend and my wife to help each other. After initial reluctance both agreed and we are all happy now.

August 7, 2015 - 10:48pm

Hi dfhallindf,

You mentioned that this has been going on for about the past 4-6 months. I'm curious, did anything change in that time? Are you on a new medication or on hormone therapy? Did something in your life change (weight loss, diet, perhaps a new level of fitness?) that may have brought this on? To what do you attribute the change?

I thought you might be interested in this article about high sex drive and some things that may affect the libido:


September 21, 2009 - 5:20pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Diane Porter)

Almost certainly hormones. Both women and men get sex mad when they go on hormone supplements. If it lasts for more than a few months the supplements need to be adjusted.

August 14, 2016 - 7:13am
HERWriter Guide

Dear dfhallindf

Thanks for your question and welcome!

There's nothing wrong with having a high sex drive! But the problems occur when your partner's sex drive is different and this seems to be the case with you.

I think it's wonderful that your husband of almost 30 years and you still have a healthy sex life!

If, after trying to increase his desire, he is still not interested in having sex more than a couple of times a week, there isn't much you can do about it. His desire seems to be slowing down and yours is increasing. You'll both have to meet somewhere in the middle. Perhaps he can try to increase his sexual activity to another day a week but this seems a bit too mathematical - he needs to do this if he has the desire and not just to placate you or he may end up resentful or sex will become a chore. But if you don't have your needs met, the same may happen to you.

One thing I noted is that is sounds like you want an orgasm, more than sex. Is this correct? Sex includes foreplay and intimacy and talking and more. An orgasm is more biologically rooted, although the feeling it brings is also very psychologically healthy as well as good for us.

Do you feel that you are looking for orgasm - for that release - more than intimacy/sex with your husband?

September 19, 2009 - 5:03am
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