Hi, I am 23 years old and I have an Italian Boyfriend. I am his longest relationship. (3 years) And mainly, his very first girlfriend. We are now engaged (for about 2 months). I am having some issues because now our sex life has gone down. I feel like I am putting in all of the efforts in signaling him that I want to make love to him, but he turns me down. It really hurts my self asteem, and I am now afraid to ever ask him. Whenever I ask him what is wrong, he only responds by saying "It's nothing, I'm just tired". And whenever I tell him how I feel, he lashes out on me about things that I do wrong. For example, I confronted him about the making-love issue, and he started accusing me saying that:
1. I only want sex late in the evening when he is tired because it helps me fall asleep.
2, That he does everything for me and I do nothing. (although this is partially true: He enjoys cleaning, cooking, and doing things for me. I can't cook for the life of me. I always somehow ruin the food, and I do clean, just not as much as the "stereotypical" woman would) The thing is is that I do everything I can to show him how much I love him and appreciate him. (i.e: I take his clothes to the cleaners and pick them up, I go grocery shopping, and buy EVERYTHING he loves, and I bake his favorite sweets) I want to do more for him, but he doesn't give me the chance, for example, when he is sick, I want to try and take care of him and aid him, but he won't let me because the only way I know how is to give him medicine which he will not take, I ask him to talk to me and tell me what is wrong, but he will not discuss it. And all in the meantime, I feel useless. As if anything that I want to try to do to help him a little, he will not let me.
I wanted to have a discussion with him about him not wanting to make love to me dispite the fact that I have given him signals, and he responds by verbally attacking me telling me that I only want to have sex late at night so that I can go to sleep. Then, he gets so offensive and starts accusing me that I do not help him with anything, when at the end of the day, even if I do ask, he never wants any of my help. worst of all, I am starting to think that we are not going to work out. I love him so much. I don't know what to do. I have been with him for three years, and I have always stuck by him. It just sucks because now I am feeling really frustrated because I feel like I am guiding him all of the time. Someone please give me some advise. And please do not tell me that I should break up with him. Give me some advise which could help the relationship. I want a break up to be my VERY VERY last option!
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