share: 40% of children in America are now born out of wedlock
Recent statistics have shown that four of every ten babies born in America are born to unmarried parents.
40 years ago, the typical unmarried pregnant woman was a teenager. The times, they are a changin'...teens make up just 23% of non-marital births.
Now 60% of unwed mothers are in their 20s and 17% are in their 30s. But even though these women are not married, many are living with the father of their child.
Experts who compare American out of wedlock births to those in Europe, say the differences are vast. Children living in countries with very high levels of "free" social services (not forgetting that taxes are far higher) and paid maternity leaves of up to a year fare a lot better than children born out of wedlock in the United States where paid maternity leave is rare and healthcare is not universal.
For no known reason, out of wedlock births maintained a status quo from 1995 to 2002 and is now on the rise again - quite a rapid rise. In fact, the rise is 26% higher in 2007 than it was in 2002. Some believe children in America born out of wedlock face similar childhoods to any other kids - others believe that financial and emotional costs are far higher for these children and that kids born into marriage generally fare better - despite the chance of divorce down the line. According to the report from the CDC, births to unmarried mothers face higher risks of low birth weight babies, preterm babies, and are at a higher infant mortality weight.
The highest rates of out of wedlock births are in D.C. (59%) and Mississippi (54%) and the lowest rate is in Utah (20%). 86% of births to teenage moms are out of wedlock.
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Do you think it makes a difference to children that they are born out of wedlock? Why? Why not?
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This has become a more common occurrence over the last couple decades. Mothers have become younger and younger. I am 32 years old and I am a minority in my social group with no children. My best friend has four children and has been living with her boyfriend for over 10 years with no marriage talk.
In my group of friends (10 women), only one is on her way to marriage (engaged), 9 women have children and 9 out of 9 have never been married. Wow! I guess I never really took it all into consideration.
I wonder if there are underlying reasons. I was previously married and I am not sure I would go through with marriage again. The main reason would be the legality of it. Divorces make lawyers rich, the couples poor and no one wins. After my marriage ended, I spent 8 years with a man which ended with him leaving with the clothes on his back. This is all he brought into the relationship. Easy break up and no legal means necessary.
Another main reason I believe is that marriage is no longer sacred. Religion has become a joke in many cultures with the younger generations. I think attending mass, church, synagogue, which ever you prefer is no longer essential in many homes. I know in the Catholic religion, and pardon my dismay; you have to get married in order to die. I laugh about this statement since I was born, raised and attended Catholic school for 9 years. Catholicism teaches that there is Baptism, First Holy Communion, Confirmation, etc. to include Marriage and then Final Rights. I don’t believe that God would judge us if we didn’t meet each step. Catholicism is a rough religion to swallow in my eyes which made me unreligious in my life now. I could never ask questions in school and nothing ever made sense.
One more thought on the subject would be cost effectiveness. I have neighbors that workfor a party hall. They have had so many cancellations due to the economic DEPRESSION. Yes, I said depression. It is expensive to get married, unless there is no ceremony or party afterwards which takes the fun out of the celebration of marriage.
Do you agree? Do you think that marriage laws will change in the future? Do you think common law marriages will resurrect into State laws since so many people are no longer getting married?
May 16, 2009 - 10:28amThis Comment
Hi Melissa
You make some great points!
The Catholic Church doesn't actually state you have to get married to die or gain entry into 'heaven' (if we did, then no Pope, priest or nun would qualify!) - it's just one of the rites of passage. First confession/ communion and confirmation are necessary in the faith but marriage is not.
I think that people (of any or no faith) are far too interested in the wedding, rather than the marriage. Women, generally, are the main culprits. It's not all their fault; women seemed to be conditioned almost from birth to have this "fairytale" day that can cost anywhere from $10,000 to $100,000 or more. I think it's insane. The wedding day is important and is a very ancient tradition- it's a great way for families and friends to get together and celebrate two people committing to each other. But the politics and tantrums and Bridezilla antics are really silly. No-one needs a ten thousand dollar wedding dress to make a day special. A wedding can be held in a back garden, with a full bar and delicious food for under a thousand dollars.
I am a very strong believer in marriage, personally. But each to their own, right?! It isn't just a "piece of paper" like so many detractors claim. I think when people say that, it's quite an insult to those that have committed legally and socially to someone. If marriage is just a piece of paper, is that also true of the Constitution?
So yes, many marriages don't work out but many others do. And it does take work and no, we cannot walk away as if nothing ever happened but I think that's a good thing. I'm the opposite of you - most everyone I know took the traditional route of marriage, then kids. It doesn't mean we are fuddy duddies who are afraid to buck a trend, but I think a lot of us really like being married and most of us wanted marriage before kids. Of course, we are all still under ten years married so time will tell. Who knows what the years will bring...
As far as laws having to change; you bring up a good point. Another reason I am pro gay marriage; couples who are unmarried have fewer rights and have difficulties in terms of wills, living wills, hospital visitations, taxes and on...it's very unfair. So many have made a mockery of marriage with 5, 6, 7 marriages under their belt, while two gay people, together for life, can't even get married once. It's shameful.
I agree that religion and marriage should be disconnected, with the connection a personal choice by each couple.
Marriage is no longer sacred to some because they choose to make it that way; walking away because they can't bother to work through problems or because someone else takes their fancy. Perhaps we shouldn't focus on making divorce hard, perhaps we should focus on making getting married harder!!
May 16, 2009 - 10:55am